This is Home, Part 43 - Psychic ability

This is part 43 of my mother's book about her life, written in 2004.



Psychic ability

Some members of Mom's family have had psychic ability to one extent or another. It doesn't work on everything.

Mom, herself, was psychic. She and Aunt Gertrude had made a pact when younger and unmarried that whichever one died first would try to come back to tell the other if there was a Heaven and the things they believed were true. A few months after Aunt Gertie died, this happened.

One morning, Mom was standing in front of the dresser with the partly marble top that belongs to Stephen now. She said she was combing her hair and thinking about what she was going to fix for breakfast when Aunt Gertie appeared, behind her in the mirror. Aunt Gertie was smiling.

Mom said she was so shocked, she just stood there and stared at her. When she finally turned around, Aunt Gertie was gone.

Aunt Gertie died in Colorado from pneumonia, when I was a new baby.

Mom's sister Edith also had psychic ability. She could make a table move. Daddy and Uncle Doc asked her to come one time when a horse had got wrapped in a barbed wire fence. He was cut and bleeding a lot while still fighting to get away. Aunt Edith placed her hands on the horse and the bleeding stopped. He let himself be cut out of the fence.

Other members of the family with psychic ability that I know of so far are Jean, Stephen, David and me. But that came much later than the sale of the farm.

These psychic incidents are only for family. Mom used to say, "Don't tell anyone that." So, I'm trusting you not to tell.

There is another incident. When Uncle Elliott died on the way home, no one could find him. It sounded to me as though he had been missing for days, maybe a week. Finally, in desperation, a psychic in Macon was consulted. She described where he had fallen. Thanks to her, they found him. Mom didn't want this repeated, either.

Dream - A hand comes from behind my computer, pointing at the screen

On Saturday, June 19, 2010, around 4:00-4:30 PM, I was sleeping at the computer with the radio off. I dreamed I was waiting for the Yahoo email page to update itself, as the computer was running really slow and near the end of its resources (as it was in real life before I fell asleep), and after a while a hand came from around the computer screen and was pointing at where I had been moving the cursor, though it was now off more to the side. The hand seemed to be saying it knew what I had been doing and maybe even suggesting I move the cursor over there again. I wondered how it could know what I was doing. I think I had just been moving my own hand over there on the screen, looking at some items in the list, pointing at them with my fingers. How could the computer know what I had been doing with my hand? With the mouse pointer I could understand, but my hand was not part of the computer.

Then I swiveled my chest around to the right so I was facing toward the street and the computer on the other desk/table (I had two computers in the dream), and was looking at that one. It also had my email list on the screen, with some items cheeked, for possible deletion. I had forgotten that I had it on and the email on the screen on that one too. It had apparently been on since yesterday, tying up the phone line. I had forgotten all about it. I looked at the email there for a while, including moving the mouse to hover over the addresses and subjects, to cause them to expand into little windows, so I could see what they really were. I didn't want to actually do anything to it on this computer now, though, since I was also in the email on the other computer, and it would probably confuse the system, with undesirable results. It seems something odd was happening there too, something strange, but I don't remember what.

I went back to the first computer and started working there again, maybe calling up something else instead of the email, I'm not sure. After a while the hand came around the screen again. I moved my head back, staring at it. It seemed confusing. Could it be my hand? No, there were three hands.

I finally grabbed it and was pulling on it. After a bit of a struggle I pulled a short skinny man out from behind the computer, maybe five to five and a half feet tall, hippie looking, long brown hair parted in the middle and a short beard. He walked quickly out of the room, looking a little scared. I wondered if I should have held onto to him, should maybe go after him and try to catch him, but it seemed too much trouble. I was too tired, could hardly keep my eyes open.

I woke up then, and things were normal. When I closed my eyes a little while later though, I could see, on a background of lesser red, a ball of red particles, not large, turning and swirling, dense in the middle and with wider spaced particles circling it. It seemed almost like some kind of fireworks display. I watched it for a while, sometimes opening my eyes and closing them again, then went back to fiddling with the slow computer.


Note: Prince Charming, the cat, died around a day or so later, and was found in the cat room at my sister's house, wedged behind some things with a paw sticking out, which is reminiscent of the hand sticking out from behind the computer screen.

Dream - My grandmother returns, much younger, and is well-liked by people, and some party-goers try to leave babies with us

On Sunday, June 6, 2010, around 5:00-7:00 PM, I dreamed I was at home, with my mother. It was probably sometime in the afternoon. An enormous number of people had gathered outside, on the sidewalk and in the driveway and along the walk that went from the driveway to the front door. Cars were also parked along the street. Somebody, apparently the neighbors to the left of us, to the west, were going to have a party. Some of the people were at our door. When it was opened, probably by my mother, some people wanted to leave two babies with us while they went to the party.

Looking out, I saw along the line of people on the walk to the door, against the railing that ran along the outer side of the walk (the house doesn't have such a railing in real life), a woman in somewhat old fashioned clothes, talking to the others. She was against the railing with the others, with her back to it I think, about halfway along the walk. She was smiling and talking and the people on each side of her were also smiling, and also sometimes talking. She seemed to be the center of attention. She was wearing a soft blouse that had a pink and white flowered pattern, with long puffy sleeves, and I think a light gray-green skirt. I knew immediately that she was my grandmother, although she was much younger than when I knew her and only looked a little like her, because when I had known her she had been much older.

When I went out, she immediately turned and left, walking west to the driveway, then down the driveway to the sidewalk, then turning right and going east, walking past the people there gathered in front of the cars, and seeming to disappear into them after about ten or twelve feet. I walked out onto the walk by the house. Some of the women there were saying what a nice person she was and wondering who she was. Smiling broadly I said, looking out, trying to find her, "She's my grandmother who ... died ... several years ago."

They started to thin out some after that, with a lot of discussion and murmuring. I walked partway down the driveway, most of the way to the sidewalk, looking out at where she had been, hoping to find her. There was just the crowd of people on the sidewalk, though. She seemed to be gone. Turning around, still smiling broadly, I headed back up the driveway. People were talking about it, about her being a ghost. My mother had come out, and was on the walk by the house. I said something about there being other supernatural things going on, and my mother, off to the side on the walk, perhaps eight or ten feet from me, was agreeing, and the people were talking about it with each other, and I said loudly something like, "Yes, and there's also the ghosts of the animals ..." A lot more people were leaving now, and the area was thinning out pretty quickly. I had been heading up the carport now, and considered whether to go in through the carport door, but turned and went back to the front door. There were still perhaps eight or ten people there, most of them around the door, most of them young women. I had hoped that the problem with the babies was taken care of, but they were still trying to leave one of them. I managed to get by the group, which spilled over through the doorway and partway inside the house, talking to them a little as I went.

I found that the baby had already been taken in the house. I was somewhat surprised, as I thought it was still out by the door. A young blond man had evidently been assigned the task, or had taken it upon himself. I saw him sitting cross-legged, holding the baby, up on the wall near the ceiling, on the wall that ran by the carport, near the corner with the front wall. I gently and somewhat maliciously said that sometimes things like this happened in the house, and asked him if he knew where he was. I crept up on the wall several feet away from him, on the other side of the old organ, while saying that most of the time, though, you did it yourself, you could just go up the wall, clinging to things, it didn't matter if your clothes were in the way or not, or if something else was in the way, you just reached out and touched them. I demonstrated, with both my bare fingers and my knee that was covered by my pants clinging when they touched the wall, or even to a heavy cloth that was in the way, something that was covering part of the organ. Meanwhile, he was looking uncertain, and somewhat upset, and managed to make his way down to the floor. I thought he might be scared enough to leave, but he put down the baby, on a chair I think, and went over to the hallway, still looking uncertain and upset, and finally turned and left, going out the front door, but leaving the baby. I went over to it and picked it up. My mother had come in and I think I said something to her about it. She went to the kitchen and we talked back and forth then, from our separate rooms. Two or three other people had also come in I think, but they went out of the living room, to the kitchen or other rooms.

The baby had a little plastic bottle that was mostly empty, that it had been holding to its mouth. I picked the baby up and tried to hold the bottle better for it, tipping it up more to its mouth. It fussed a little and started to cry some, but then quieted down. I walked around with it, sometimes talking to it and sometimes to my mother. I tried to set it down on the couch, but it started to cry again, and I bent down to it, and tried to distract it. I hoped they were coming back for it later, but I wasn't sure and was afraid it might be permanent.


I was gradually awakened, brought to awareness, by continued banging sounds, like someone distantly banging on a door with his fists. I think it was just part of the dream, though.

Dream - My mother and grandmother fade out and I realize they are dead, and I look into two mirrors and try to will them to appear

On Friday, March 4, 2011, around 6:30-9:00 AM, I dreamed that I was in a living room somewhere. My grandmother, my mother's mother, was on one couch and my mother was on another. They were in the middle of the room at right angles to each other. I think my grandmother was lying down and my mother was partly lying down. I was leaning some over the back of one of the couches I think, talking to my mother. I think there was a stuffed armchair near me, maybe behind me. We were discussing my grandmother some, among other things.

Then it seemed my grandmother started to fade some, and I came to realize, if I hadn't before, that she was really dead, that she wasn't there, and she came not to be. My mother started to fade some too, her head and shoulders lingering longer, her head turned toward me and looking up at me, a sad and somewhat pleading look on her face, and she faded mostly out then, just a faint shadowy image left, like my grandmother's fainter, mostly gone, shadowy image.

Some other people started to come into the room. I was upset and left, going out into the hall. I seemed to be in something like a hotel. There were two large vertical mirrors on the wall, next to each other, touching. I went toward them and got very close, looking at them, trying to will my mother or grandmother to appear in them. I got so close my head was almost touching them.

Then a door to another apartment opened, maybe six feet to my left, and two or three people came out, at least one of them a child. They looked toward me, puzzled and concerned, and the man asked what I was doing. Two or three other people came out from doors on the other side, also seeming concerned about what I was doing. They were all either relatives of me in some way or were people who knew me at least some, who at least knew who I was. I moved closer to the mirror, touching my bent head to it, resting my head on it, almost trying to hide there, but it didn't work. The people didn't go away, and kept looking at me.

I pulled back from the mirror a little and turned my head to the left a little and said, "I was ... mirror gazing." They looked at me like I was a little crazy, sometimes shaking their heads. They turned away, then, going on about their business, though some of them sometimes turned and looked back at me.


The dream was a lot longer, with more before and after this, but I don't remember it.

Dream - The road with the big spiral downward, the mysterious building at the bottom and a magical time talking with my mother about what it might be, then at home I am attacked by a rag doll man

While sitting in a chair in the living room, listening to the radio, I fell asleep, probably starting either about a half hour before midnight, Thursday, March 3, 2011, or a half hour after midnight, and ending about 2:30 AM Friday, March 4, 2011. The records I made of it are unclear, giving the time as 12:30 PM-2:30 AM, where either the PM is incorrect or the time associated with it is. Both days and both dates were included, making it seem like it really did start before midnight, though I can't be sure.

The radio, on while I slept, occasionally waking up, was tuned to Coast to Coast AM. The show had a woman science writer from National Geographic on until midnight, talking about the mind, and then after midnight a man talking about Enochian magic.

While asleep, I had a very interesting dream.

I dreamed it was night, at least most of the time, and I was in Arizona, driving, heading for Nevada. Someone was talking about something, from off above somewhere and far away, though I could hear him clearly. It seemed to be about something important, particularly later, about how the world was put together and about magic and how to use it. I got almost to the border, near Hoover Dam, and started going around in the spiral, a much longer spiral than in real life. The road went around and around, getting lower at the same time. Surrounded by trees now, I went around and around in the darkness. The night was cool and the air felt a little moist. At the center of the spiral was a complex of pale buildings in among the trees, kind of a gateway to somewhere it seemed, that people stopped at before going on. It seemed a friendly place, even a fun place, but at the same time it had a mysterious aspect, that something else was going on there too, that it had another purpose, and that some other people were going to come soon that had something to do with that. My brother was there I think, and my mother, and I sometimes talked to them, particularly my mother.

I went back then, with my mother, partway back around the circles, and we were looking back among the trees and talking conspiratorially, about who might be there, and some about the others, where they might be and what they might be doing, and about the mysterious people who were going to come to the building. Then, somehow, I was driving away by myself, going out around the spirals. It's possible she went off into the trees, but I'm not sure now. As I got toward the outer edge the spirals were expanding out and flattening out, and it felt like I was freeing up into an expanding free space, with a sense of freeness, and it felt exhilarating and good, and I tried to recreate it a few times.

Then I was driving back toward home again, by myself. The voice above was still talking, saying things that were relevant to the situation, talking about the spirals and what they meant and other dimensions. It was getting lighter outside. I was trying to figure out where I had been, where it had been located. It seemed it had been somewhere around Hoover Dam, that was the only place I could figure it could be, though it didn't feel quite right, like it didn't really match what I would have expected there.

The land had quickly become more barren, as I got away from the Hoover Dam area, even going through some spirals still, beyond the important concentration of them. The barren ones weren't important, just more land. A few other cars were on the road now.

I got beyond that part, away from that area, and was going straight, across the barren land. The voice was talking again about the spirals and what they meant and other dimensions, and I started going around them again, wherever I was now I guess, but it seemed to be a re-creation of them, for conversation purposes. This time they went up instead of down, out of the straight road, and I saw an outside view of them, from above and the side and far away. Initially they seemed more like dusty spirals, I think, going up into the air, but as time went on that changed. I saw the car, tiny, not much more than a dot, going around a narrow ledge on the side of a flat-topped mountain of reddish rock, with sloping sides, and layers visible in the rock. I frowned, as I looked down at it. It seemed disturbing to have it represented like that.


Then I was home, in the living room, and people were trying to get in the front door, talking to each other, and the deadbolt lock turning. I think I may have tried to turn it back, maybe a few times, but I'm not sure, and if I did I soon abandoned the effort. Out back, the dogs were barking. I went into the bathroom and hid there with the door closed. I could hear them talking to each other, discussing what was there, trying to find something valuable, saying that they had missed the home owner, he was evidently out. It sounded like they wanted him to be home, to tell them where the valuables were.

Then they were gone, and I went to the kitchen, to feed the dogs I think. I was between the refrigerator and the counter, when I saw a man at the back door, outside. I could see him through the window in the door. He was talking to someone, while still mostly turned toward the window, someone to his left that seemed to be off a ways and who I couldn't see. He seemed to be unaware that I was there. It wasn't immediately obvious I suppose, since I wasn't directly before him, but around the corner of the counter. I wondered about him getting inside and then me having to fight him.

Then all of a sudden he was laying on his back on the counter, but it somehow didn't seem to be quite really him, kind of a representation of him, that he projected into the room. It wasn't even a full body, his head and shoulders and part of his body, but his shoulders and the part of his body that was there were much reduced, much narrower than a real body, and sometimes they seemed to be a rag doll with cloth sewed together, sometimes even his head seemed that way. I picked him up, what there was of him, and kept slamming him back on the counter, slamming his head into it, banging his head on the counter over and over, sometimes on the edge of the counter, while he talked to me, sometimes threatening or insolent, and sometimes talking about when his partner would come in, and then I would have trouble. Sometimes when I was banging his head it clearly seemed to be at least partly a rag doll, particularly from the chin and lower, sewed out of white cloth, his head flopping on the thin cloth neck as I banged it.

One time toward the end, I woke up briefly and raised my head up from where I had been, bent way over in the chair, my arms wrapped around me. I was not feeling good, and was somewhat scared because of the dream, and I could see red blotches, even some that were long, in front of my eyes. I wondered if they were real, or I was seeing the blood on the floor from where my ankle had bled months ago, but I could see a place further on that had the dark dried blood. I turned my head and the red blotches seemed to stay there, but I was also keeping my eyes fixed on the same area as I turned my head. I turned toward the light by the couch and the redness seemed to follow, but it was harder to see it in that direction, because of all the things that were there adding to the confusion. Later I looked back where I had been looking before, and most of the redness was gone.

"Until we meet again"

On Wednesday, December 9, 2009, after the dream about being James Bond and being given a picture of a rose to give to my mother, I went down to the living room to check on her, a little after 11 AM. I found her wrapped up in a blanket, sitting on the couch, sleeping. When I asked if she was alright, she woke up and said yes, and said she had a song going through her mind, that she heard the song on the TV as part of a collection for a commercial or infomercial. I was astounded as I had heard songs in the dream, the last one of which had still been going on in my head. She really liked the song on TV until she remembered that she had heard it when she was in school, that it was sung by a singing group that sung several songs there. It was the last song, and they were really good, and the audience had clapped and she or someone had spoken to them, telling them how good they were and maybe asking them to stay longer, but they had to go on, they had other places to visit. Later she was saying that maybe this was the last one, she thought, and they were going home, to another state, maybe Ohio.

The next day the teacher came, really solemn, and told them the bus had been hit by a train, and the man and the woman had been killed, several people had been killed. My mother turned the TV off after she remembered that, where she had heard the song from, it made her too sad to think of it. She sung several verses of it for me, but couldn't think of the last one. A little later she remembered it and sung it and it went something like this (I forgot the middle part), "May your days be filled with bright tomorrows ... until we meet again."

Dreams and visions of my mother

My mother went into the hospital on Thursday, November 4, 2010, and died late on Monday, November 8, 2010.

Before that time, sometimes months before, I had had premonitions of her death. I had been having dreams for a long time, years, reflecting my concerns about her declining health. These could be attributed to what I could plainly see, without having to call them predictive. Some dreams though, including one a few days before her death, are harder to explain.

There was a time after her death, a week or so, when I had much fewer dreams than normal, and the ones I had of her sometimes seemed more like visions, particularly since I wasn't always asleep when they happened. I also had feelings of her being there at times. Most of the time, though, I felt an emptiness, and numbness, that was very profound. It didn't help either, that my own health at the time was not very good.

In the second week, I seemed to be having more dreams, some with my mother, though she tended to play minor parts. It wasn't until after the second week that I began to have a lot more dreams, including ones in which my mother played major parts. These dreams frequently referred to her death, though she was apparently alive in them, or at least acted so. Sometimes she appeared younger, and sometimes not, and sometimes she didn't look so good, like the dream was showing her actual body, dead but animated. Sometimes my grandmother, her mother, also appeared in the dreams. I had had many dreams about my grandmother in the past, but she rarely talked in them. Now, she talked a lot.

Below are a list of the visions, dreams, premonitions, etc., though I can't claim to have included all of them. The dreams still continue, too, though now she usually appears as a more normal figure in them, without references to her death. Most of the dreams and other items have been shortened quite a bit here, to better fit within the long list.



A few months before my mother died, perhaps early September, though I think it might have been late August, I was thinking about what I might get her for Christmas, when the feeling came, that it didn't matter, that when the time came it wouldn't be something that mattered. It was a feeling that the question itself wouldn't have any meaning. There was a bit of an empty feeling with it. I tried to reject it, push it away, because it implied that my mother wouldn't be there.



At around 6:30 AM on Labor Day, Monday, September 6, 2010, I walked down to the living room to check on my mother. I found her sitting on the floor near the hallway, facing away from me. She had tried to step around the partly folded towel she had put down weeks ago for the cat to lay on, and tripped and fell. Her left wrist was injured, and had a bump on the upper part of it on the side toward her body. It was fairly good sized, perhaps a third of the way across.

Earlier, I had been on the computer, and listening to the radio. Perhaps a little less than ten minutes or so before, the Internet connection had been lost. I thought that my mother might have for some reason wanted to call Sharon, and picked up the phone, causing the connection to be lost. I thought I should go down and tell her that it was alright to call, if she didn't already know, since the connection was lost and I wasn't on the phone any more. However, I went ahead and read some of what I had been reading I think, maybe all of it, and then continued listening to the radio, because I wanted to hear what they were saying. I started to get increasingly nervous though, wondering if perhaps she had fallen. When the radio came to a break, I went down to check on her.

When I saw her there, sitting on the floor, her back to me, I said something to her, and she turned around and showed me her wrist, I thought to myself, "Oh, Mommy, what have you done?" I said something to her, talking softly, but trying to be upbeat.

However, I had a bad feeling about this, and thought of my grandmother falling and breaking her wrist a few days before she died. My mother had fallen before a few times, and severely hurt, maybe breaking, one wrist or the other, but she had always recovered. Now, for some reason, it felt different, like this was it, this was the one that would do it. I had already had a bad feeling about her putting the towel down for the cat, back when she did it, but there was nothing that could have been done. Any attempt to take it away or argue with her about it would not have worked out well, and I understood that she was trying to do something nice for the cat, that she loved.

It was almost like something now, though, of retrieving a distant, half-remembered memory, of what the fall and injured wrist meant. I was disturbed by this and tried not to think too much about it, tried to believe that everything would work out alright, like before. (I have this account recorded in a file, and while going through the file I happened to add some to this entry on Monday, Labor Day, September 5, 2011. It was a strange coincidence, Labor Days a year apart, though they didn't occur on the same day.)


Before the fall, things had felt a little odd that weekend. I worked on getting my email in better shape, reading some of it and moving some to folders for a possible later time. Looking back, it almost felt like I was marking time, waiting for something. By Sunday I had gotten a feeling that something was going to happen Sunday. I had no idea what, or if it would involve us at all. It turned out, of course, that it happened early on Monday, but exact dates can be hard to come by with these feelings.

Saturday afternoon, the Saturday before the fall on Monday, I had a long dream that seems closely associated with what happened. In the dream I had reached up to a light high on the wall outside where I worked, intending to demonstrate to the management people that it needing fixing, pulling at the two cords hanging from it, like before, hoping to make it act up like before when I did that. Before, it had started making popping and sputtering noises and glowing red and hotter around the base, and crumbs of red glowing concrete block were going off it and a larger glowing triangular chunk two or three inches across was flying off. Now it didn't do much, though, making only a little noise. But then the face of an end of a concrete block came off, glowing on the bottom and halfway along its length, and fell toward me. I was wearing long, heavy, black neoprene rubber radiator shop gloves for some reason, and raised my left hand up to fend the glowing piece off, and it hit the side of my hand, and my arm, and it seemed to hit my side too, and I fell down, and it was even partly laying on me for a few seconds. Everyone gathered around me, and they got it away from me and were standing around me bent over looking down at me. An ambulance was called and I was taken to the hospital.

This matches what happened in real life fairly closely, though it happened to my mother instead of me, and although I was burned while she was injured in a different way, we both fell, and both our left hands were hurt, and our left forearms, hers from where it had gotten hurt around a week ago, and both our sides were injured, hers from something that happened a week or so ago, and it was her right side whereas it was my left side in the dream. We both went to the hospital too, though my sister took her, instead of an ambulance.

It also had the feature of me waiting too long, in the dream waiting a few seconds while trying to get something I was working on finished, before going to see someone who was leaving and then finding him already gone. In real life I was reading what was on the computer and listening to the radio before checking on her. I also had had the feeling that she might have fallen, and an increasing sense of urgency, in the minutes before finally checking on her.

The dream also had the interesting feature of metal things being concealed inside stuff, to both spy on us and for other reasons, and when I tried to put the hands of a woman in a carriage under a scanner, that would see through what she was carrying, she resisted but when I finally managed to do it, I saw that her hands and at least half or so of her forearms had black metal in them instead of bones, that someone had for some reason replaced at least that much of her bones with metal. This could be seen as highlighting the part of my mother's body that she came to have a problem with in the fall, and might also be a reference to the hidden splint that they put on her, as well as to the x-rays she undoubtedly had at the hospital.

I also had an incident that Saturday night, where a bulb in the ceiling fan over the kitchen table made a popping sound behind me and burned out. The fan has two chains hanging down from it, for the fan and the lights, matching the two cords for the light in the dream, the light that also made popping sounds. The dream happened Saturday afternoon, before the bulb burned out that night.



I had a long dream Saturday, October 30, 2010, in the 3:00-3:30 AM area, a little over a week before she died, in which my mother came to my bedroom, looking a little younger. She lay down beside me and didn't say anything. Something seemed wrong, she seemed bothered by something. I looked at her face in the dim light. Her face looked a little puffy and her eyes were mostly rolled back at different angles, with dark red inside the lids and some around the eyes, on the edges of the eyeballs, and she had a bit of a grimace. I asked what was wrong and tried to comfort her. When I looked at her again, her eyes had changed to completely dark, a glistening dark with a reddish tint, almost completely a black color though. She talked a little bit I think, and finally got up and stood in front of the curtain, looking toward it. Her face was more normal now. She seemed upset about something though, maybe even with me some, though her face was mostly expressionless.

The dream has many things that matched what happened in real life. When she died, the light in the hospital room was relatively dim. She was laying in bed, and her face was swelled some. She had also had some problems with her eyes when she went to the hospital, with an infection, though they had apparently fixed that before she died. The darkness of her eyes in the dream, though, and their pointing up, seems to portend more than that. As for going over to the curtain in the dream, well, "curtains" is sometimes used as a euphemism for death.



On Tuesday, November 2, 2010, Election Day, my sister took my mother to vote. I went at a later time, then picked up my mother at my sister's house. I offered to take her to Burger King and get some supper to take home. I told her we had to stop off at the house briefly. As I drove toward the house, she reminded me about going to Burger King. I said again that I was just stopping for a little while at the house, then we would go. She said she wanted to make sure I wasn't trying to get out of giving her her treat. I took her to the bank, to get some money out. I told her on the way where we were, what we were going toward and going by. After the bank, I drove toward the Burger King, again telling her about where we where, while we talked about things. After the Burger King I drove toward home, and we continued as before, talking, with me telling her where we were, and where we were going.

As we went, I came to feel more and more that things were ending, that this would somehow be the last time things would be this way. It reminded me of when I had taken my grandmother home, decades ago, after celebrating her ninetieth birthday. I had kept looking at her and thinking that things were about to change, that this would be the last time things would be this way. The next day, in the morning, my grandmother fell and injured her back, and was taken to the hospital, and spent a long time getting well enough to go home. Then, at home, after getting better for a while, my grandmother fell and broke her wrist, and died two or three days later. It felt now like it had felt then, when I was taking my grandmother home.

Though I did not know it at the time, my mother had less than a week to live.



Late Friday, November 5, 2010, at night, the day after my mother went to the hospital, I was at home, and got a strange feeling of peace, that it was over. I tried to resist that, didn't want to accept it, got very upset about it, telling her, mostly in my mind, to stay, to hang in there, not to go away, to come back, over and over.

I had not been feeling well. My ankle had bled all over the floor, just before they came and took her to the hospital. I got a call from my youngest sister, though, to come down to the hospital, and I did, and I talked to my mother for a long time, and she laughed a lot. I am very glad I went. I was very shaky on the way home though, and an hour after I got back my ankle started bleeding all over the floor again.



On Monday night, November 8, 2010, I got a call from my oldest sister, saying that my mother was expected to die, and that I should go to the hospital, and then, while I was getting ready to go, my brother called and said her organs were failing and they were going to shut her off. This came as a surprise. She had seemed to be doing well while I was there Friday. I had not gone back, afraid that my ankle would start bleeding again, but I talked to my youngest sister on the phone Saturday, and she said that she was doing really well and was expected to be moved out of Intensive Care on Sunday. When I called my sister on Sunday, though, she said that my mother hadn't been having a good day. Now, on Monday night, I hurried down to the hospital, and got to spend some time with her, though she wasn't conscious. A lot of family members were there too, though I was given a couple of times to be alone with her. She died that night, a few hours after I arrived.



On Wednesday, November 10, 2010, probably around 4:00 AM, give or take an hour or two, I felt a presence in the house, and also heard something. It didn't feel like it was in the room. It seemed to be in the front part of the house initially, then at the far end of the hallway, then at this end of the hallway, a few feet from the computer room, where I was. The little dogs didn't seem bothered by it. I had been sleeping at the computer with the radio on, but wasn't asleep at the time, or didn't seem to be.



On Wednesday, November 10, 2010, probably around 2:00 to 4:00 AM, as I was sitting by the computer, with the radio on, trying to sleep, I drifted and went into a halfway dream state. I hadn't slept for a long time. I had been writing a book for National Novel Writing Month, and I went into a version of the character I was writing about, who now looked more like me, and my mother was with me, in place of his mother. She was much younger, maybe in her early forties. It was dark, and we were separated by a few feet, going down a street, bent over some, moving sneakily but fairly quickly. She was a little ahead, but not much. We sometimes talked to each other in low tones. I think it was mostly a residential area, but with perhaps a few businesses. It was filled with old buildings, with I guess you would call a cobblestone street. It repeated itself a time or two. We were on an adventure, going stealthily into an area where we might find someone I think, in one of the buildings further on. It was brief, but enjoyable.



On Friday, November 12, 2010, around 3:00-6:30 AM, more or less, I was sleeping at the computer with the radio on. I dreamed that my mother, looking very young, in her twenties, and with a very small waist, kept coming up to me, rushing up to me, as I sat there by the computer. She was in heavy black and white, like the old pictures of her, except that it was heavier, with a dark outline around her. She seemed very dynamic, walking swiftly up to me, bent forward slightly, her arms bent, but moving back and forth some as she walked, coming toward me with an intent look, like she was on a mission, her face smiling a little, but also looking intent. It happened over and over, one right after the other. It seemed more like a vision, instead of a dream, and matched the physical situation I was in, sitting there in the chair, my head down, my eyes closed.



At my mother's funeral, on Friday, November 12, 2010, I went down the aisle and looked at her in her coffin. As I looked at her, for a moment, for an instant, another version of her seemed to recede several feet away from me, away from the body in the coffin, through the side and the open lid of the coffin, a version of her that was alive and several years younger, partly sitting up, looking toward me with her mouth open slightly, a slight smile on her face, almost of slightly uncertain expectation. She was looking toward me, seeming very comfortable herself, but looking a little unsure of my reaction, of what my reaction to her might be. I drew back, blinking and shaking my head I think, turning away from her. I looked back a few times, but the vision was gone now. It seemed astoundingly real, though, in the brief instant of its happening.

I thought about it many times in the days and weeks and months that followed. It seemed very real at the time it happened, but very brief. I wondered about it, and wondered whether it was real or just a trick of the mind, but at the moment it happened I was greatly affected by it, and had to leave the area of the coffin for a while.



On Wednesday, November 17, 2010, around 3:00-6:00 AM, I dreamed I was driving from mid-to-northern Arizona, back home. Some other people were with me. It was daytime. I was on a divided highway partly cut through hills. Roadwork was going on. My mother was with us, looking younger, maybe in her late forties. She was alive and alert, but somewhat shrunken down, her hips and especially her legs, with her legs shorter and tiny feet. We were taking her back for her funeral, but were experiencing delays due to the road work. I think my grandmother might have been with us.



Apparently on Thursday, November 18, 2010 in a sleep period ending at 9:30 AM, I dreamed my mother fixed sandwiches for me, Jimmy Dean type stuff. I got six Chapsticks, and reminded her to put them on the sandwiches....



Apparently on Thursday, November 18, 2010, in a sleep period ending at 12:30 PM, I dreamed that my mother was trying to fix something that she was calling shrimp or something like that, that she had bought at the store. We had had it before sometimes, in my history as it was in the dream. It wasn't really shrimp, but looked like a little person, maybe three feet tall, with wispy trailing strips like antennas, coming from the sides of the forehead and maybe shoulders or sides. I was talking to her about it, and started saying that it looked like a person, how much it looked like a person. She was saying not to say that. I kept on doing it. I was finally saying that it was a person, that it was really a fairy, or maybe more likely a pixie, or maybe an elf....



On Monday, November 22, 2010, around 5:30-9:30 AM, I had an extremely real-feeling dream in which my mother came back, suddenly appeared laying on the rug in a hotel room, as I was talking to my little sister. My mother looked a little irritated, and perhaps a little confused. I was somewhat surprised to see her, and a little confused myself. I told my sister she was here, then went to her and lifted her to her feet, tilting her up. She felt perfectly solid, perfectly real, perfectly three-dimensional. It didn't feel like a dream at all, it felt like she was really there. She seemed around sixty. She was wearing clothes that she used to wear, an old faded blue-purple blouse with flower designs on it and a dark skirt. I was glad to see her, but a little confused because I thought we had just buried her, how could she be back?

We talked about various small things, going into the room beyond the fireplace. She seemed to be getting younger, closer to fifty. My sister went with us, also talking to us. We talked some about the get-together party that had occurred, and maybe about how they would be surprised to find that she was back. I said, in responding to something, "and the autopsy they did and the cut up pieces that they buried."

My mother looked at me briefly, looking a little disturbed, and then said, "Yeah." (In real life no autopsy occurred.)

She seemed to be a little younger, under fifty now. She talked about going on an airplane to another state, one a few states over, to the east. My sister was going to take her to the airport. It seemed she had to leave pretty soon.

She went into the bathroom and changed into overalls, like a farmer might wear. In real life she would never wear such things, but it was probably a reference to the farm where she grew up.

My mother and sister talked for a while, and continued talking, and I said, suddenly feeling that I should give a warning, though it seemed a bit like a party pooper, that "You never know how long these things will last, it might be two hours, or an hour," while privately hoping that my warnings were groundless, that she would be here much longer, days or months or indefinitely, as the dream quickly faded into being awake, and she was gone.

The dream occurred on the 47th anniversary of the day John F. Kennedy was shot.



I was extremely cold at times in the couple of weeks after my mother's death. Especially earlier, closer to the time of her death, and in the days afterward, concentrated more in the first week, where I had on a coat and a blanket and couldn't get warm no matter what. I was shaking with the cold, even one time in the late afternoon, sitting by the TV. The heat wasn't on back then, which I'm sure didn't help, but it seemed more than that, as I felt colder than I should, given the actual temperature (this IS the Valley of the Sun). Around a week and a half after her death, I put the plate back in the ductwork in the attic, which blocked off the cold air and helped noticeably, but I shouldn't have been that cold, especially in the late afternoon, especially since I could feel the warmth, the heat, all wrapped up like that, but it still couldn't help.

Ghosts are frequently associated with cold spots. Art Bell, the radio talk show host, had experiences with being cold after his wife, Ramona, died. He has since remarried, but after his earlier wife died he was getting cold a lot, and one time he was even sitting in the shower with the hot water on and still couldn't get warm.



Sometimes in the days and weeks after my mother died, as I wandered around the living room, it seemed that I could reach out my arms and hug her, hug a space in the air where she was. Sometimes I wondered about it, and thought to test it, and tried to turn and hug another area, but it didn't feel that she was there, it felt empty, and that she was in the other place.



On Friday, November 26, 2010, around 4:00-6:00 AM (the day after Thanksgiving), I had a long dream, in which I was very tired, and driving. Then at home, I saw my mother again, and she sometimes seemed connected to what was happening to her body in the grave. We walked around to the back of the house, talking. The cat that she liked was alive again too, and she took it into the house with her, through a door that didn't exist in real life....



On Saturday, November 27, 2010, around 6:30-9:30 AM, I had a dream in which I ate some strange food, then went to my grandmother's house in Arizona, then went walking and found her. Then my mother came, and we went walking toward our house, with me carrying my grandmother, but I somehow got lost and we went through a block with lots of rooms that seemed to be a medical place. Then somehow I was in a race in the 1970 Cadillac. Then I went home and found that my mother and grandmother and youngest sister were there with some kids, but there were two sets of mothers and grandmothers, almost identical, but with one set looking worse than the other.



On Saturday, November 27, 2010, maybe in the 10:00-10:30 AM area, I was in the computer room, drifting but not asleep. I had a half-vision of my mother and grandmother off to the left side of me, a few feet away, in the room, coming toward me some, but I don't think they ever got closer than a couple of feet. They were standing there looking at me, apparently talking about me sometimes, concerned about me, though I didn't hear what they said and I'm not sure I actually saw them speak, though it seems I did a little.



On Friday, December 10, 2010, around 10:30-11:40 AM, I dreamed that I was in what seemed to be a living room, perhaps in my house. My mother was in there, laying on the couch, partly toward me. I was standing on the floor by the couch, leaning over to her, and shadowy figures were moving around nearby, but most of the area was a gray fog. The housekeeper was there, cleaning the house, though I heard her more then saw her. I could only see her a little bit, a dark figure in the fog. She spoke a little though, briefly, sounding distant. I asked my mother why the housekeeper was there cleaning the house, and she said something like, "Oh, she just was," and seemed happy about it, in a distracted way....



On Wednesday, December 15, 2010, around 10:00 AM-2:00 PM, I dreamed that I was in my bedroom. My oldest sister was a few feet away. We were talking, and she had a big smile on her face. I heard the tinkling of the bells my mother used to call me with, small ceramic bells with a handle on top. I heard them twice, a few seconds apart, faint but clear and sharp in tone, nearby, like maybe in the hallway just outside the room, and my mother was there, coming in through the open door, looking maybe around fifty, maybe less, in her faded violet-purple flowered blouse and a dark skirt I think. She was just partly seen, partly faded out, almost like an impression she was there, but I still felt like she was solid, at least the part that was visible, less so the parts that weren't. I was looking at her to the side, to the right, without turning my head much, and she came in, a presence or partial presence, partly seen, but definitely there.



On Wednesday, December 15, 2010, around 10:00 AM-2:00 PM, I dreamed I was with my mother at an old school, looking for books in a room full of old books, then a storm came....



On Friday, January 14, 2011, around 5:30-7:00 AM, I dreamed that I was thinking that my mother was dead, was remembering and thinking that it was too bad, that she wasn't here to tell something to I think, then thinking suddenly that it was found to be a mistake, and that she was alive, and I was glad that it had been a mistake and she was alive again.



On Friday, January 14, 2011, around 7:30-9:15 PM, I dreamed my mother and my brother and I, and one or two other family members, probably my sisters, went to a place outside of town somewhere. It seemed like a very small town, a settlement. We stopped at a place with a Old West appearance, a store with a large flat lot in front, unpaved, scattered with fine light brown gravel. It was daytime. Everyone seemed much younger. The girls were still children, and sometimes my brother seemed to be around ten or twelve, though sometimes he seemed to be older, in his teens. I'm not sure what we were driving. It seems we might have originally been in more than one car.

We were in the store for a while. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I think it was kind of a restaurant/tourist store/convenience mart type of thing. I think my father might have been there too, or in the area, or had been there, or was coming there. I'm not sure I actually saw him.

It was getting time to leave, and we got in the car and drove off, with my mother driving. She was talking, and I was talking sometimes too. The girls were also talking, mostly carrying on their own conversations, sometimes only one-way. I turned back as we drove out of the lot, away from the somewhat tall sidewalk that ran along the front of the building, with the tall, thin, square wooden pillars that lined it, and thought I saw my brother back there, looking toward us, seemingly around ten years old. I didn't see him in the car, looking toward the back seat on the driver's side. After a few seconds I said to my mother that I thought we left him back there. She questioned what I was saying, repeating it, then said to me, reassuringly, that he was here, and I turned and looked at the back seat on the passenger side and he was there.

We drove for quite a while, though it didn't seem too long in the dream. It was late at night, and we were driving in the mountains, on a road that might have been unpaved, though it was flat and in good condition. We were in the 1973 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser station wagon now, blue with a white top. We stopped at some stores on the left, a series of perhaps three or more stores connected to each other, almost like a small mall. My mother went in, and the girls went into the store but not very far, going in and looking at the stuff in the bins and on display and then coming back out, going back and forth. My youngest sister was talking and giggling. My mother came back and we started off in the car again, with my mother driving like before.

My mother drove slowly forward in the dark, away from the stores. A few other buildings were scattered back a little ways from the road, but not too many. The road mostly went through a cutaway section of the mountains here. Directly ahead of us were two or more huge speed bumps that had been put in. I remembered going here long ago. The speed bumps were like large half-cylinders made of dirt, laying across the road, smooth and perfectly shaped. At first there just seemed to be two of them, separated by perhaps twenty feet or so. They were big enough that it looked difficult to get over them. My mother slowed to a crawl, slowly going over it and down the other side. I thought the car might scrape but it didn't. Initially they seemed to be perhaps 15 or so inches high, but they got higher as we approached them. As we went toward the second one, which had been the same size as the first one earlier, was now quite a bit taller, perhaps two or three feet. We managed to get over it. It was so large it was like going over a small hill, with the car somehow able to clear it, with maybe only a minimal amount of scraping.

We headed toward another one then, slightly farther apart than the other two. It was huge, maybe four or five feet high. Ahead, another car was coming, moving faster then we were, though still not very fast, maybe less then 20 miles an hour. I thought it would get a surprise when it got to the bumps if it didn't slow down more, and thought it might have to slow abruptly as it got to them. It might be local, though, and familiar with them, and somehow knew what it was doing.

I didn't see how we could get over this bump, though, it was so huge, and began cringing and partly turning away, even sometimes briefly closing my eyes. I was talking about it, worrying about it. My mother was talking back to me, reassuringly, slowly and tired sounding, her head tilted back some as she slowly drove toward it. We started to go up it, the front of the car tilting up in the air. We headed toward the top of it, and I could see over it, and it looked like we were going to make it after all.

The closed doors

Long ago, when I was probably around 12 years old, on a trip with my family in our car, I was thinking about how hard it was to think now. I felt that it should be easy, all these things I was having problems with, and I should know a lot more than I did. I was basically raging against it, mad that it should be that way.

Looking out the car window, I then looked upward, with my eyes but also in my mind, and saw the blue of the sky fade into a grainy darkness. I went into that darkness, and I saw a massive, dimly lit corridor, very high ceilinged, with many sharp zigzags along the left-side wall. The walls of the zigzags held massive doors, on the sides facing me. and the wall on the right also had doors. They were very tall, around twice my height, heavy boards reinforced with heavy metal straps, some of the doors even vault-like, metal with layered metal slabs. They were all either closed and locked or slammed shut as I approached them.

I walked slowly down the tall corridor, looking at the doors. After a short distance the corridor turned to the right, with straight walls and more doors, somewhat wider spaced. It went on a long distance in that direction, too far to really see the end. To the left, in the corner, was another massive door, metal and heavily reinforced. It was open, but each time I approached it it slammed shut, locked against me.

Though I tried a few times, going back into the darkness to them, I could never get through the doors, and I knew that I couldn't, not now and not for a long time, perhaps not until near the end of my life. They had been closed, either by me or someone else, to keep me away from the knowledge and abilities that I used to have.

I felt that it had been a decision made long ago, maybe before I was born, and that several people were involved. There had been discussions of it and the decision was made, and was being enforced by those who were left to do it, who kept watch on it, and made sure that it was done. They appeared in my mind as giant figures, as a very small child might see an adult. They were wearing simple, rural clothes, and were in a small room of a house, similar to what my grandmother's farm on the highway had looked like, though they would have been in one of the bedrooms instead of the living room. They were sitting on a small couch in front of a coffee table, and on other chairs around it, sometimes standing, too. It felt that I was also somehow one of them, or was with them in some way, and was taking part in the discussion, was even one of the people pushing the decision, was in fact the leader behind it.

After the discussion was finished, the others got up and turned and faded through the walls like ghosts, on their way to carry out and enforce the decision. The other me, though, I felt had withdrawn the other way some, and upward through the ceiling. He didn't seem to be an actual figure at this point, more like a mostly unseen presence. Perhaps he had always been that way, though it was a presence that could make itself known, and could carry on a discussion in some way, perhaps mentally. It felt, too, that somehow that presence was still out there somewhere, that it didn't all become me, that the greater part of it still watched and waited on the other side of life.

Although I felt there must have been some kind of reasoning behind it, something that was felt to be valid by my other, greater self, and by whoever else was keeping the doors closed, and though they obviously had greater knowledge about such things than I did, I wanted them open now, and was mad that I was restricted in this way.


This could be interpreted as a sense of a past life or lives when I was an adult and had more knowledge and abilities than a child would have. Perhaps a better interpretation, though, would be a memory of a time between lives, when I would presumably have greater knowledge and awareness, and was setting the goals and the path of my next, now current, life. Other interpretations are also possible.

Dream - The inflatable boat

Around the end of April or beginning of May, 2008, I had a dream where I was in my bedroom, talking to someone, and I opened a package that I guess had been left there. It was perhaps fifteen or eighteen inches on a side and maybe a couple of inches thick. I was discussing with the other person about what to do with it.

With the wrapper off, it was densely folded heavy plastic. I started unfolding it and pulled some device on the side, activating it. I think it was a spur of the moment thing and I was a little surprised that I did it. The other person was more surprised than I was.

It turned out to be a narrow rubber raft or boat, that was now inflating. I took it out of the bedroom and down the hallway. It was already long enough that it was bumping and bending on things as I took it through the doorway and down the hallway.

In the living room it fully inflated. It was very long but not very wide, and the sides were very small and not very high. I looked at it in amazement. I thought it was a stupid design and would be difficult or impossible to ride in without the part where the person sat getting water in it.

There was more to the dream earlier, but I can't remember it now.


Early in May, no more than a few days after the dream, an issue of Discover magazine came that had a picture of a similar appearing boat, though the appearance of being extremely shallow was an illusion caused by it being very low in the water. It was an interesting coincidence. Perhaps I had a precognition of it in the dream. It was not the only time something like that had happened.

Dream - My brother's bed has an unseen presence, and another unseen presence is trying to take over my mind

Around August 21, 2008, in the evening, I think, I was sleeping in bed with the overhead light on. I had a dream where the room was less cluttered and my brother's bed was still there, where it had been, at a right angle to mine. I was in my bed in the dream, and the light in the room was dim and pale, yellow-orangish and thin.

Sometimes it seemed like someone was there in my brother's bed, but usually it didn't. Usually the bed was empty, though it sometimes seemed like a presence was somehow associated with it, almost like the presence was somehow back by or in the wall.

I was in bed and kept looking toward the other bed and toward the hallway. Sometimes it seemed that my mother was outside in the hallway somewhere or in one of the other rooms, maybe even the living room or kitchen, or at least her presence was. Sometimes I think I could hear a dim sound from her, a faint distant voice, saying something.

There was also another presence, ominous and frightening, somewhere high up, toward the ceiling in the direction of the closet and doorway, but spread out, diffuse. I had somehow gotten its attention by some thought I had that specifically referenced it in some way. Now I tried to reject it, to disavow the thought and think and concentrate on other things, talking to the mostly empty other bed, to the presence there that was apparently my brother, talking sometimes by voice and sometimes in my head.

I was afraid, though, somehow knew though, that this wasn't going to be enough. The diffuse presence above and to the front of the room waited, barely being kept away, waiting for a chance to get closer, waiting for me to tire and falter, for my concentration to fade. It then would move closer, and surround me and be in me, and try to take me, and make its thoughts my thoughts, and I didn't know what would happen then. I woke up, then, and found that I had only been asleep around 15 minutes.

Dream - Repeated out-of-body experiences, and a computer on the wall shorting out

On Friday, May 30, 2008, just after 7:00 PM, I fell asleep in bed while watching television. Countdown on MSNBC was repeating its earlier show. I had two dreams, of which I eventually remembered one. It was long, surprisingly so, considering the time asleep.

In the dream, I had repeated out of body experiences or attempts at such. I was mostly just lying in bed, though, while odd things happened. I kept hearing things and thinking that my mother had come, time after time, and was in the doorway, sometimes saying that supper was ready, sometimes bringing me it, sometimes she was there for something else.

One time it seemed my feet and maybe legs left my body, and one time later on I tried to have an out of body experience and then opened my eyes and suddenly found myself looking at the blue wall perhaps a foot or so away. I think initially I thought it was the ceiling (which is white), but then realized it was the wall by my bed. I thought then that I hadn't had an OOBE after all, but thinking back on it I was actually laying facing mostly the other direction, though my head was pointed up.

Toward the end, I saw a big structure on the wall that was some kind of computer. It was maybe fifteen inches wide and a foot and a half to two feet tall, and maybe a couple of feet above the bed. It started shorting out midway up it. I was worried about a fire and tried to unplug it, but I was having trouble moving properly. I think I finally managed to do it.


My mother woke me up rapping sharply on something, possibly the filing cabinet. She was in the doorway with a paper plate of food. It turned out to be a beef pot pie and some cucumber slices. Only about 15 or 20 minutes had passed.

Dream - Summoning the Grays

On Tuesday morning, April 14, 2009, I had a dream in which I tried to summon the Grays, a type of extraterrestrial alien, or perhaps a hyperdimensional one, thought by many to be real.

I was sitting at my computer at home and fell asleep, and dreamed I was driving. Someone was with me. I put the person in a different car as I went along, for safety. Then as a curve came up I was too tired, it was too much trouble to turn, too hard to do it, and part of the car went off the edge. There was a drop off below. Somehow I was on the passenger side looking down at it. I just let it happen and went sailing off the road. I went to the side in the car, sailing over the ground far below, maybe sixty feet or more down. I was higher, then, maybe over a hundred feet. The ground below was barren and mostly level, pale dirt and short yellow grass, slight rolls and curves with occasional small hills sticking out sharply, sometimes ending in a small flat area of just dirt, like the top of the hill had been scraped off.

Then I was in an office, I think in a multi-story building. I had been left there by someone, a woman I think, who had gone to get someone else, someone who I was supposed to see. I'm not sure now whether I had an appointment or came by myself or was just brought there.

The hall outside had low, inexpensive carpet, and the door was cheap and hollow, with thin paneling covering it. The walls had thin fake wood panels, simulating boards, with dark recessed lines simulating the space between the boards. The office also had low, cheap carpet. Perhaps ten feet away from the door was a large, inexpensive desk, covered with stuff. As I stood there, facing the door, perhaps three feet from it and a little to the left of it, about eight or ten feet to my left were large windows, almost floor to ceiling, completely covered by long pale curtains. I'm not sure of the time, but it seemed to be late, or possibly on a weekend. The building seemed almost deserted.

Realizing, I think, that I was in a dream, and needing to do something to pass the time while waiting, I decided to see if I could call up the Grays, the extraterrestrial aliens with small skinny bodies and oversized heads with big black eyes. It seemed to be a good time for that.

I concentrated and a small shadowy figure started to appear, dark gray and vague and transparent against the paneling, only a couple of feet high. I concentrated and it grew in size, stretching upward, becoming slightly less transparent, looking at me with more awareness and interest. I became scared and stopped and turned away to the left, but then decided that this was what I had been wanting, contact, and this was what happened during it, and I had to somehow get through it.

I turned back and concentrated on it again, and again it appeared, a vague shadowy presence. Before I focused my attention on it, it appeared almost uncertain and forlorn, eyes looking about in my general direction but at about the two foot level, not up at me. As I looked at it and concentrated, though, it's eyes looked up and met mine, and its attention focused more and more intensely on me, concentrating on me as I concentrated on it. It seemed to happen almost instantly. A kind of eagerness seemed to overtake it, and it rapidly grew to around four feet tall and became more solid, though still vague and transparent. It was leaning a little toward me, growing faster on top than lower down, its eyes growing, stretching upward, becoming like cartoon eyes, tall, with even a little white underneath, the white appearing as light gray, as there was no actual white on the dark gray figure. I could feel it reaching out into me, its mind filtering across the space between us and entering mine, threads of it going into me. In spite of myself I became scared, and though I tried to suppress it, I found myself drawing back and turning away, though I thought it might still be there.

I had closed my eyes as I turned away, but I could see what looked like the paneling through them, yellowish brown, the wood grain and all, though without any breaks for boards. Sometimes blotches appeared in the middle, something like the blotches sometimes seen in old movies when the scenes are ending, though larger here, a pale thin yellow in color, joined together in the middle to form something like a massive ink blot, that kept changing, flickering, going away and coming back. I thought I was somehow psychically seeing the wall through my closed eyelids, but wondered if I really was or if I was seeing something else.

After a time I realized that I was sitting down facing away from the door, with my head partly leaning back, my face pointed toward where the wall and ceiling joined. The image I was seeing looked the same, and I realized that I couldn't be seeing the actual wall, I was seeing something else. After a while I realized that I was awake, sitting in a chair with my head leaning against the back of it, but the image went on and on. After a while I finally opened my eyes and looked at the time on the computer, then leaned back and eventually went back to sleep.

Dream - Oh how high the shadow grows

On Saturday morning, September 20, 2008, I had a dream that included a naked man, a black dog, and a song with the words "Oh how high the shadow grows."

In the dream, I was in a large open mall-like area, mostly empty of people, though there were a few. Colors were pale and there seemed a starkness about everything. I was doing something before this, but I'm not sure what now. Going back and forth from the house to there was part of it. Inside the mall there was a small stairway against a wall leading to a small platform that had some low stucco walls around part of it. A door was in the wall at the platform, and maybe a window by it, though it might have had blinds or a curtain or some other covering obscuring the view to the inside.

I went up and down the stairs to the landing a few times, spending part of the time on the landing partly laying down. I seemed to be at least partly trying to hide from people, hide from being bothered by them, though for a while I called out to someone in the mall, a relative I think, maybe my mother. I held a small conversation then, but I wanted to be left alone so I could rest.

At some point some dogs came up, a large black one and two smaller pale ones, one them smaller than the other, generally all of them spaniel types I think, more or less. I was a little concerned sometimes about the big dog, though I felt also that it would probably be alright. I reached out to the big black dog and scratched and rubbed his head between his ears, first on one side and then the other. His snout was very big and his head was small, and I wondered about the size of his brain. Before, things had had a strange quality, like I was looking on the scene without my glasses. Things were much more blurry now, though, and the big dog became especially blurry. It was hard sometimes to see it much beyond its head, and its head seemed to fade at the edges into a blackness that surrounded it and that it seemed to carry with it. I worried a little bit about getting my hands dirty, touching the dog, but it seemed a necessary thing and I didn't worry too much about it. I was very tired and it was hard to move and hard to see and I wanted to rest.

I saw a man down in the mall who was just partly dressed, maybe naked at times. I'm not sure how he got that way. He was wandering around, staggering, bumping into the walls sometimes, a time or two going up and getting briefly in a niche in the wall, partly hiding, partly just resting. I was irritated that he should show up at the mall looking like that, and I went down and I guess basically harassed him for a while, knocking him about a bit, then I carried him up the stairs to the landing and put him down behind the low wall, partly hiding him. He was completely naked now. I think I might have had a part in making him naked. He was mostly out of it by this point, barely conscious.

There was some small bit of clothing on the landing, very thin material, like a piece of a Halloween costume. It was colored maybe a pale red or purple, and gathered in to a long piece of elastic, like maybe a waistband or headband, like it was either some brief shorts or some kind of turban or other headgear. I wasn't sure what to do with it. He was laying on his side partly curled up, his back to the mall. I think I finally just draped it on his shoulders.

I worried about leaving him there, but it seemed better to leave him there than down in the mall the way he was. I worried if I left him up there, though, that people who might be looking for him, maybe friends or family members, wouldn't be able to find him. He was sticking out a little past the edge of the wall, though, his rear and some of his legs. I think I might have intentionally arranged it that way so that people looking for him had a better chance of finding him, while at the same time giving him a little privacy by having him up above the mall and mostly hidden. I went down the stairs then, brushing a little against him as I went, which disturbed me.

I went home then and laid down in bed. Some people occasionally talked to me and to themselves from the hallway. They were hard to hear and sounded faint and far away. I wanted to drift off into the gray softness behind and around me. The dogs came back, coming down the hall. I scratched and rubbed behind the ears of the big black dog, as before. His head seemed even smaller than before but his snout was as big or bigger than ever, and I wondered some more about the size of his brain. He was even harder to see than before, with a deeper blackness surrounding him. I was talking to someone in the hall, a couple of people.

I started singing in a sharp, clear, somewhat high voice, "Oh how high the shadow grows, the plant life of your widow, black lace curtains brought you near, from out the plate glass window". It was a song from long ago and I wondered who had sung it. Then I somehow moved to the computer room and was sitting down, seeming to move through the wall there as the view shifted, still singing I think.

I was still looking out toward the hall, but now it became more distant and had changed to a large room, almost a stage. It had a very low wall and a huge room-spanning sheet of glass. Behind the glass a large group of people were moving, leaving, going from left to right. They were mostly young and were of a range of heights but none were very tall. One of them was talking to me. I was having trouble hearing, the voice sounded faint and far away. Sometimes it seemed to be someone in the middle and sometimes it seemed to be someone toward the left side.

I said something and then the person laughed, and looking back and forth I finally determined that the person was indeed on the left. It was a young girl. She laughed and said, "Don't you recognize me, I'm [the name of my little sister, who is now in her mid-forties]".


Later that day, I was thinking about the dream and the song and realized that I had it wrong in the dream, that it was "Oh how high the scaffold grows" not "Oh how high the shadow grows", and that I have it on an old Elton John 8-track tape. The rest of the song in the dream was accurate, as near as I can remember.

"Don't you recognize me, I'm [my sister's name]," was similar to something she actually said in early January 2008, when I couldn't recognize her voice on a cellphone that greatly distorted it. Also, one time when she was young she was in the second story of the Sears at Los Arcos Mall, and I was shopping there, looking at the trinkets on some shelves out in the floor, trying to find something for my aunt I think, and maybe my grandmother. I heard two or three young people, early teens probably, perhaps 10 or 15 feet away, giggling about something. It irritated me, as they were sort of looking in my direction and I thought there was a possibility that they could be giggling about me for some reason, though I didn't know why. Later at home I found out that one of them was her, and they were apparently giggling because I didn't know she was there. I hadn't bothered to take a good look at them, so I hadn't known one of them was her.

Finding my grandmother

When my grandmother got older she liked to walk a lot, and apparently walked all over the neighborhood, even stopping in at a store sometimes and buying something. As the years passed, though, she eventually reached a state where she became increasingly confused and frequently became lost. There was also a concern that she might wander onto a major road. My mother tried to look in on her now and then, and then go looking for her if she wasn't there, but my mother had a lot of things to do and couldn't stay with her constantly.

One day after work, probably somewhere around 1980-82 (my grandmother passed on in late '84), I drove home past the street where I live, and almost but not quite to the street where my grandmother lived. I had a feeling, and had had it for some time, that she would be out walking right now. I decided that she would be on this particular street, and turned onto the street and drove down a few houses until I found her sitting on a fence in front of a house, sweating.

She seemed happy to see me and asked if someone had called me. (I believe there was a woman looking out of the house at her, or maybe it was a neighboring house. This may or may not have had anything to do with what my grandmother said. I don't know if the woman had said anything to her.) I said no, and my grandmother looked at me kind of strangely, perhaps wondering how I found her or why I should even be looking.

I helped her into the car, a 1970 Cadillac I had owned for a long time, and took her back to my house. The house was empty for the moment, as my mother was on an errand somewhere. I gave my grandmother a glass of water, which she thanked me for, and my mother came home a little later. She was surprised to see us both there, and I explained what had happened.

My grandmother stayed a few more minutes, perhaps even half an hour, but soon wanted to go back to her own house. She became a little anxious if she stayed away too long, and so my mother took her back.

Dream - Gangsters, and a red blotch in the air

On Sunday morning, March 29, 2009, I had a dream involving gangsters, and later a strange red blotch in the air.

The earlier part of the dream is forgotten, but at some point I incurred the wrath of gangsters. I was in the back lot behind a business, perhaps the radiator shop. Most of the lot was dirt, but I was on a concrete portion. One or two of the gangsters left, leaving one behind with a gun pointed at me.

I was told to get in my car, which was parked at an angle on the concrete, with the front pointed to the southwest, partly toward the alley. The car was an old Cadillac, I think. It was a little small for a Cadillac, and was probably built after they started downsizing them. It was not a car I ever owned in real life.

Before I got in, I had to put the driver's side front inner fender back on the car. I had removed it or loosened it earlier for theft protection. It was falling down now as I tried to get it secured, including some black plastic panels and pieces along part of the front.

I was somewhat bemused, but the gangster person was a little impatient. I think someone dangerous was on the way and he wanted me gone before he got here. He sent someone into the shop to get the keys, a shop employee, I think. A couple of them came back out, looking uncertain and a little scared, holding a bunch of keys on a ring. Someone was going to start the car, then, but looking through the keys found ones that looked like Chrysler ones. The person was going to try them anyway.

I was in the back seat of the car, having been told to get in, then suddenly I was holding the keys, startled. The other person was going swiftly out the passenger door, leaving the place by a different car I guess. I was still in back, but was going to drive in that position anyway. I reached forward and put the key in the ignition. It seemed to go in anyway, despite being apparently the wrong key. I seemed not to be myself now, and was someone younger and smaller instead.

I drove to a counter somewhere, somehow drifting to the driver's seat along the way. I seemed to be a different person, with a different history, though I felt much like myself. Still in the car, I talked to someone behind the counter, and then the car faded away and I was standing there, still talking to the person. The person warned in a mild way that when such things are done they don't forget, talking about the gangsters. I'm not sure what things the person was referring to, though I seemed to have an inkling in the dream.

I went through some large rooms, then, and came to a smaller one off to the side. The room was still of reasonable size, perhaps twelve by eight feet, but was small in comparison to the others. Some other people were in the room, also.

While in the room, at some point, I saw a red area in the air against the light gray of the walls, hanging in the air like a vision. It was perhaps a couple of feet or so wide and twelve or fifteen inches high, and was about five feet above the floor and a similar distance from me, and a little to my right. I worried at first that some problem had happened with my eyes, since it looked something like blood, though a little lighter, some type of crimson. An area thinned out in the middle of it and whirling and turning thin lines formed in various patterns, sometimes like something a toy Spirograph would make, other times more like a turning horizontal wire spring.

It was beautiful and enjoyable to watch, though at the same time I was listening to other people in the room talk, or trying to, which was very distracting. It was a slow conversation and my eyes kept going back to the patterns, looking mostly at them, but it was ending now, slowing down, tending to fade some into indistinctness. I couldn't seem to bring it back, though the red remained, though a little duller and smaller.

I was looking back and forth from the red area to the people. I found I was reluctantly paying more attention to them, and a feeling of greater reality was settling in. I had to leave soon. There was a doorway to my right that sunlight was pouring through, a doorway that led out into the day, and I started to turn toward it and woke up.

Dream - The new timeline and the psychic lecturer

Tuesday, April 21, 2009, in the middle of the night or early morning, I had a strange dream about getting killed and then the timeline changing so that I was alive again.

In the dream, I was driving in Nevada. I had traveled there from Arizona. Earlier in the dream, there had been some time at home, and something about packing the suitcases, in my bedroom I think, and talking about the trip. In this trip, I went far to the north of where I usually go. This was intentional, and I had a specific place I was going to. I think it was something I had talked about with my father, some place he had business dealings. It was a little town in a relatively high area, probably 4000-5000 feet or more, with mountains around it. I had gotten in the general area, but still quite a ways from it.

It was late at night, approaching morning I think, and I was very tired and it was hard to drive. I was going along in an area where the road had been cut out from some little mountains, going fairly straight, with broad areas of loose dirt on each side for shoulders. There were places beyond the shoulder where the cutout area of the mountains could be seen, a sloping wall of hard dirt, and also some places between them where the dirt had been used to fill in gaps to make the shoulder. I was going west now, and had just turned off onto the road a little ways back. I had been going north. I was driving slower here, looking for a good place to pull off and sleep for a while. Traffic was very light.

Then I was waking up, sitting in the car, parked in the soft dirt, several feet from the road. It was very early morning, around sun up or maybe just before. I had the strangest feeling, that something had happened that night, and then things had been completely changed. It felt like I had actually been killed, hit by another car going the other way, either when I had been going slower, looking for a place to pull off or after I had pulled off and was slowly going along the shoulder for a ways, deciding where I wanted to stop, and that then it had been redone, and I was moved to a timeline where it didn't happen. I think it was partly done by myself, but a great deal of it, maybe most of it, was done by outside agencies, perhaps angels, though I'm not sure. It could have been UFO-type people, or people who were from alternate timelines or other universes, or even time travelers. It was the strangest feeling. I felt kind of airy and light-headed.

I continued on to where I had been going. I had actually been going, intentionally and temporarily, in the wrong direction earlier, looking for some place to pull off and sleep. It was an area I had been in a few times before, in dreams, so I knew generally what it was like.

Now I turned around and headed east. Traffic had picked up a bit. I think I went to a little town where some small businesses were, garages or service stations, to talk to some people there. I think my father joined up with me. He may have been driving a large white pickup truck.

Someone was visiting there, passing through, giving brief talks. I think it may have been a route he regularly traveled, but months passed before he returned to a particular place. He talked about psychic stuff and the paranormal. (In real life, the radio was playing and the Coast to Coast AM show was on. That night, Bruce Goldberg was a guest. I'm not sure if he was still on when the dream happened. It might have been when the show was replaying the first hour of his time, or the dream might have happened afterward. In any case, the person seems to have been based on him and sounded like him, and was a fast talker.)

I think I had been wanting to see him, and although I was already in the area for something else, I think I particularly went to this place at this time to try and catch up with him. I got to talk to him briefly as he was heading for the door after his talk, and continued to talk to him briefly outside. He seemed interested and agreed that what I thought happened could have happened, and even talked a little about such things, but seemed to be in a hurry and I didn't feel that what had happened to me was really properly sinking in to him. He left then and drove off to the next place in some other little town. I felt I had to try to catch up with him again, either in the next place or somewhere else in his tour.

I went off with my father to the next town he was going to be at, I think after finishing up our business where we were. It was a some place to the east, some distance away apparently. It was late at night when we got there, not far from morning. We parked outside of town and made our way forward on foot. I'm not sure why. I think we may have been worried for some reason about being trapped or caught there, like we felt it wasn't quite safe.

Going west, we made our way along on the south side of the road, going along by some businesses. For a while on this side of the road the area was elevated a bit, rising up maybe ten feet or more in places, with the road cut through it. The places on the other side of the road were more level, though sometimes were also elevated a little.

We came to a place, well above the road, that seemed to be used for storage for things that were delivered. The ceiling was fairly low and it was open all along the front, and we were on a raised up area in it, kind of almost like an open attic or loft. A bunch of little cans were there, most of them tuna cans I think, though a few cans held something else. We were talking about taking some with us to eat, not so much to eat now as when we got finished and left. At times it seemed the other person was more like my younger brother now instead of my father, and at times it seemed like a different person entirely.

It was getting lighter now as we made our way along. We soon crossed the street to the other side, cautiously going along, keeping close to businesses, away from the road, though the businesses went alongside next to the road. Hardly anyone was out now, and the road was practically empty. A lot of the businesses were elevated six to eight feet up, but it varied as we went, going up and down, and some were fairly close to the road in height. I didn't know if we were in time, or would have to catch him in one of the other towns. I was under the impression, though, that somehow this little town was a major base stop on his tour, that he had some kind of connections here.

We did manage to get to the place he was at. He was still there. We talked to some of the people there before we found him. We still had to search a bit. One of the people was a black woman, probably in her thirties, full-figured but not heavy, who was very attractive. She had a kind of easy-going, amused smile, and helped us some in our search. She was one of the people who worked in the place that he had kind of a base at, and I guess one of the places in town where he was going to be talking or had been talking. She didn't go with us, though we kept coming back in our search and running into her. Apparently the person we were looking for was moving around quite a bit and it was hard to catch him.

Finally, toward night, we managed to catch up with him. He was about to go someplace else again, another town on his tour. I got to talk to him for a little while. While we walked, the black woman went with us for a ways, and maybe another person or two, then we said goodbye to them, until next time, and continued on with the person I had been trying to find. As we talked, he remarked after a bit how nice looking the black woman was, in kind of an aside, a smile on his face. It was dark now. We were approaching the end of town again, the same end we had come in on. The person had to go on and we said goodbye to each other.

I went back to the place with the cans, along with the person I had come with, whoever it was now, and we were going through the cans, which were stacked up in a broad area along the edge of the loft, out toward the road. The stacks weren't very high and were just a few cans deep, and were partly turned over and scattered, especially after we had been through them. We were going through them again now. I was trying to collect a few cans of tuna. The other person wanted something else too, and said he really wanted to find some salmon. He was having trouble finding it, though. I said in kind of a loud sharp voice that he was looking at the wrong ones, that they were in these little tiny cans, showing him some that were really small, maybe half-size, like some gourmet cat food cans are.

The cans were just sitting out there, not locked up, and we had been considering just taking a bunch of them, but we started to wonder now whether we should make some effort about paying for them. The black woman had come back, still across the street and still maybe fifty feet away, and still with a big smile. She suggested that we could send the money to her and she would pass it along, so we decided that we would go through what we had gotten later, and either send her the money or send her a letter telling her what we had gotten, and she would tell us how much it was.

Later that morning, probably around 6:00-7:00, I had another dream about driving, in Arizona I think. I don't remember now what was happening in it, but I woke up with the same airy, light-headed feeling, somewhat a feeling of wonder, as I had in the dream after the timeline had been changed.

Dream - Low purple clouds and disaster

Long ago, perhaps in the mid 1980s, I had a dream of very low purple clouds, low enough at times to touch. There were flashes and tornados in the clouds, I think even a disastrously large tornado or two. I think maybe a UFO or two as well. Most of the time I watched the clouds from the ground, but I think I also flew above them at times. The clouds were very threatening and seemed like a psychic phenomenon of some kind, and could somehow bring about or carry with them something that could bring about the end of the world.

Dream - I was Art Bell, and flying

On May 28, 2007, I dreamed I was Art Bell, a late-night radio talk show host who is now largely retired but occasionally guest-hosts, and I was flying and eventually chased by a small dinosaur.

In the dream, I was Art Bell, in the dark in the back yard of what was apparently my grandmother's house in Arizona. I was out near the alley behind a long desk that roughly faced toward the house but was at an angle to it. Some other people were there, but they went back inside the house. My chair started spinning around rapidly, and then started sailing rapidly backward through the air. I didn't mind either situation, as I thought that either one might help to have an out-of-body experience.

Soon after, it was daylight, though not very bright, and I was going over and among some brick or brownstone buildings. I went through a wall, but it was difficult and slowed me down considerably and was not very pleasant. A little later, I went up through the ceiling of another building and this was a little easier, though the part I went through was thinner and less massive a structure than the wall had been.

After a while, I was at what was apparently a place like the north end of an elementary school I used to attend, and going around the end of the building toward the playground. I was also watching separately from the air from a little distance away. The area was apparently some kind of government or military testing area, and I was worried that the Art Bell figure didn't know that and might be discovered. I watched and waited to see what might happen.

A tall black person in some kind of military uniform came and was looking at the door, which faced the street, that the Art Bell figure had just come from. The military figure looked similar to some movie or TV star, but I can't remember who. The military had some kind of secret program that involved the paranormal, and I was afraid that they might be able to detect the Art Bell figure even though he was supposedly invisible due to just being in an astral body at the time. The military figure was looking suspiciously at the door and he had some device that he was moving to different parts of the door and frame.

Finally he came around the building to the playground/yard area, and Art Bell was in the air perhaps 10 feet high and maybe 10-15 feet away. The military figure didn't seem able to see Art Bell, but seemed to feel that there was something there somewhere and he had some device that he was looking at. A dog was also now with him that seemed to be interested in something that was approximately where Art Bell was.

Art Bell was now holding what seemed to be a camera with a long leather strap, though later the strap turned, at times, to a much longer string. He attempted to use the strap/string to hook the device the man was holding, but eventually got the dog with it instead. He swung the dog on the string in long arcs back and forth while the man stood there, looking interested but confused, as he apparently just saw the dog going back and forth in the air, without seeing Art Bell or even the string.

Art Bell eventually let the dog go and started trying to get away. He went some north but mostly west, flying high over areas of low, somewhat dry-looking grass or bare ground and large, low buildings with yards that may have sometimes been paved. Low walls and small roads ran through the area, separating things, and the walls frequently connected to and surrounded the buildings. After a while the buildings ended and a large area of grass followed, which ended abruptly in a stretch of bare ground. Shortly afterward, he came to a very tall block wall that he barely made it to the top of, as he was having difficulty flying high at that point. He rested briefly at the wall and then went over it.

On the other side was a desert area with a series of other walls forming long pens containing genetic experiments with animals, including the restoration of long extinct animals, including dinosaurs, though frequently with modifications. I, as Art Bell, soared high above them. They were generally large and vicious animals, frequently on two legs or able to stand on two legs. They looked at me and some of them leaped high, several times their height, to try and bite me. One animal, standing on two legs, had a head that was very broad but flattened top-to-bottom and front-to-back, and seemed to be mostly a broad empty mouth with some somewhat widely spaced sharp teeth well back in it. It leaped so high that I felt its hot breath on me, around my stomach slightly below the belt. It was in a very localized area, though, not like one would expect from something that was huge. I came to realize that the animals were in fact very small, generally around a foot and a half high, and I was not nearly as high above the ground as I thought.

Eventually I came to a Tyrannosaurus rex, or something like one. It was significantly taller and much more massive than the others, perhaps somewhere around three or four feet high, though the size seemed to vary a bit with time. The general shape of it was right, but it seemed to be composed of various sections of different, usually very bright colors, and had a rubber/plastic look. Some areas were flesh colored, including its arms, which were human-like and had somewhat oversized human-like hands. I think some of the other colors were blue-purple and red. It leaped at me, and managed to come down outside its fence and started trying to track me. I was flying lower by then and was having trouble getting much altitude.

I came to some structure that was basically a miniature rectangular metal building similar to the Eiffel Tower in construction. I was trying to do something with the string/strap and somehow got it entangled with some fence or miniature telephone wires and it became, with the wires, wrapped several times, at different heights, around the building. The T. rex caught up with me and I managed to pull it part way up the building with the string, but it was too entangled with the string and the wires, and pulling on the string eventually caused the string and wires to pull it tight against the building. Finally I abandoned it, apparently breaking the string and taking the camera with me.

I flew on and found an open area and landed. It was desert, sand scattered with various cacti and other desert plants. As I went along, walking, the desert area gradually became part of a very large room in a building. There were various small appliances and other things, including large tables with chairs. I saw a small refrigerator/freezer with an old-fashioned look. It was perhaps three or four feet high and the doors, one on top for a small freezer and another, larger door below it for the refrigerator section, had a somewhat rounded appearance. I opened both of the refrigerator doors, in an attempt to confuse the T. rex when it arrived. I did after a while see it looking around the open doors with a somewhat malicious, interested, hungry look. It still seemed to be looking in my general direction, though, and not in the refrigerator.

Some people started to fill the room and sit at the tables. They were generally very young people, sometimes even grade-school age. I had the feeling that they were the product of genetic experiments trying to make very smart, very psychic children. They were looking around and seemed to be aware that I was there, or that someone was there, even if they couldn't quite see me, though some may have been able to. One of them asked who the guest was today, like this was something normal, like they normally got a different invisible guest every day.

I woke up shortly after that. I was sleeping sitting up in front of the computer, listening to Art Bell on the radio. The news had come on at 3:00 AM, between segments of the replay of the show. I apparently fell asleep around 15 or 20 minutes till 3:00, perhaps even 25 till. It was very early Monday morning.