Sunday, June 03, 2012

Dream - The mall, the man in the devil mask, and the storm

On Saturday morning, November 20, 2010, in a period of sleep ending around 11:00 AM, I had a long dream in which I ended up at a large mall, apparently where the old Osco/Bashas' stores were, at 74th St. and McDowell Rd., then left and wandered off north, possibly to Plaza 777 where the radiator shop used to be, then I went back to the mall again. I was talking to some other people sometimes, at least some of them family members. It was afternoon, a pleasant temperature, mild, the sky clear but kind of a gray tone. I went back in the mall and was wandering around. Besides little shops, it had layers to go though. Some of the mall was to the right, like at Fashion Square, but I went to the left, and it seemed like I was going through layers of primarily the same store, to different departments, with walls between them. I also found some candy by little walls, in glass jars. I ate some of it and was looking for more.

I finally left, taking a heavy white plastic trophy I saw on a shelf by the free snacks. It was a statue of something, heavy and compact and styled, with just the suggestion of an animal form. Out in the parking lot I began to wonder if it was really free, and decided that it probably wasn't. I looked around it for a price tag. At or near the car, the gold 1989 Olds, I finally found a small white sticker with something written on it. I turned it up toward the sky to try to get more light on it, but the light was dim, it was late in the afternoon and the sky was somewhat overcast. A little sunlight came through, though. At first I thought the price was other things, then finally resolved it as $9.00. I decided that I had to take it back. I walked back in with it, hoping that no one would bother me about it. Some people frowned at me, and I eventually set it down somewhere, not where I got it.

I saw my sister, the oldest one, who was several years younger than me, and we walked through the mall together.

It was starting to get late and things getting ready to close. We went back toward the entrance. We passed some people from the store at a minor side entrance, doing a strange dance, one or two dressed in strange clothes and wearing strange lifelike almost devil-like masks, but without the horns, doing a strange acrobatic dance over a large broad mattress-like thing close to the floor, entertainment for the people. A woman showed up with the mask after a while and did some of the tumbles, but it was like they shared the same mask, that the other guy had taken it off while he was gone and then she emerged wearing it, though I think I eventually saw them together with masks on.

Approaching the main exit, I lost my sister and went back into the mall looking for her. I got to where it turned a corner, and there were other little stores, some of them selling food, but they were pulling down their roll-up covers over the fronts of the stores.

Going back, I passed the man with the devil mask and strange costume. He had his shoes off and his feet were covered with fake feet too. The mask was tight fitting and had no seams, and looked natural, though still somewhat rubbery. He had a reflective expression on his face, sitting and looking off into the distance to the right, toward the short exit, rubbing his foot. He talked very briefly. I moved on. Near the main exit, my sister came up behind me. She had been following me for a while, and seemed amused by it.

She had been for a while at a side room across the aisle, too, a place where food was served and also where everyone sang and played musical instruments. I could see them from here. I went over and went in for a while. The place had a tropical theme, which became more manifest deeper into it. At the other side of the room it blended into an outdoor area with plants and palm trees, and round concrete tables among shrubbery. Inside, everyone sat close together. I wandered outside for a while. There were worries and warnings about a storm approaching. It was still light outside, late afternoon, near sundown, still with some sunlight. A strange cloud was there to the southeast though, gray brown, boiling, churning at the edges, on the ground, wider at the top than the bottom, and with a flat top. It was coming this way, visibly so, though people didn't know if it would dissipate before it got here or not. People were running around, though, trying to get away. I kept looking back at it. Each time I looked it was moving this way, but didn't seem to get closer between looks. I wandered off to the southwest, into the parking lot. Large areas were flooding, with tall palm trees sometimes at a slant, sometimes with large areas of sodden mud over the parking lot and things. It had evidently gone through here already.

I went back inside and went over to the main exit. The various things lining it, little stores and various activities, had closed for the most part, and were covered up, but now they were starting to reopen, a late night thing. Things seemed more sinister. The man in the evil mask was back again. A place there was also offering odds at things, like odds on how TV shows would do, and odds on other minor things, and I thought about placing a bet, but wandered back to the main section and was trying to find the board/sign I saw with odds on it. Looking at it, I realized I had misunderstood what I had read before, and the odds weren't good. I decided not to do it. The man with the devil mask was going over a raised, long rectangular area with concrete edges, and a cloth placed over the middle. Underneath it were a series of crosswise rods and large beads. Before, when I was going to leave, he had been on a slanted one, like an escalator, with things in the middle that weren't moving but with bands on the edges moving down, with little rough things on them and around them, like tiny broken rocks. He had been cavorting in the middle and maybe singing. I had tried to grab onto and slide down one of the bands. As I made my way toward the direction of the exit, I saw him looking my way, not entirely happy at it.

It was night now, had been for a while, late, and I went out the exit to leave. It was cold, and the parking lot was covered by cold mud, with snow dusting it in places. Some areas just had a little mud, and some areas were very diluted, almost water, some just slightly dirty water, and some not much of that. It was daylight still then for a while. I went to the car. It was looking normal, but as I got there, or soon after I got there, it changed to a much smaller and lighter electric car, still with front wheel drive. Some other people were coming too to their cars. We passed by some tiny wooden guard shack type things, damaged by the storm, sometimes sitting at angles there between the rows of cars, wet inside. I walked through one and out the other side, wondering a bit if someone would object. The others seemed more afraid to do that. I got to my car, which turned out to have my mother's purse there on a small white table behind the passenger door. I guessed I must have left it outside the car. I was glad no one had taken it.

I got in and drove, not toward the exit at 74th St., but down the row toward the north, then toward the east and into another row going back south, where conditions were much worse, heavy mud covered the pavement. A delivery type truck was backing out down the row ahead of me. It slowly backed out, but there was some kind of trouble, and it finally got going and moved away. There was another big truck on its side at an angle, that I had to go around. In the dream I didn't know why I came back there, it was a lot harder to get through and more dangerous. The small car with front wheel drive that I was in, though, pulled through and over the mud.

I got to the front, by the mall, and turned to the west, toward 74th. Other cars were going out through the exit near the intersection, across from the bank. I didn't like that though. I thought it was too close to the intersection, too hard to get out, although it had a traffic light. However, there didn't seem to be one earlier, and at times, and I tried to go to the south, to another large exit, further away from the intersection. People on the walk around the mall were calling out to me, not to do it, it was too dangerous. It was fully night now, late. I tried to go south, but ran into increasingly heavier, deeper mud, and there was also worry that I might heading into the storm, that it would come through here. I turned around and went back. A little Mexican-type kid, possibly part Indian, had been following me, a little girl. She was associated with someone, a couple of people mainly, but had been following me, and I agreed to let her go along. The car was so tiny now, that she was riding on the back. It was rainy and cool, even chilly. The car seemed to be a two seater with a small wooden platform on the back, even some wood rails going along the sides, and a very short front.

I waited at the light for a while. It turned red just as I got there. Across the street, there was just the sidewalk with landscaping along it. Everything was wet and cold, and rain was softly falling. Water was running in the gutter in front of me, and it was a sharp short slope to the street. I couldn't see the traffic light from here. I had to lean forward and tilt my head to look up, then I could see a tiny curved dark metal tube coming down from it, with the end glowing the color the light was. Off to the right was the intersection with its own traffic lights, and I thought it was going to be a long time to wait, to get them both coordinated properly. There was only a very short wait, though, before I saw the light in the tube above me turn to green, and I pulled out into the street, going south, the girl happily riding along with me, and sometimes running beside me holding on. I had no idea really what I was going to do with her, whether I could drop her off at her house somewhere along the way, maybe on a small side trip, or at somebody else's house along the way, or just a a place where she could make it home from or be picked up from, an intersection in the neighborhood, or if I even had to take her to my house for a while. Her parents seemed to approve her going along with me though, so I guessed it was alright, whatever was going to happen.

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Dream - I almost die and find I can't talk anymore, but when the paramedics come I try to get them to look at my grandmother

On Wednesday, October 27, 2010, around 4:30-7:00 PM, I dreamed of almost dying. After some time spent somewhere doing something, generally associated with my house but sometimes somewhere else, I went to a place that was something like my house and something like my sister's, but much larger than either of them. It was a one story house with huge open rooms, with a railing that enclosed a central area that was apparently a lower part of the house, below ground level. I started talking to my sister, who was at a small glass table, round I think, near the railing, arguing a bit with her. My mother was perhaps ten feet or so off. My sister said something and I said something back, in a low voice, irritated, saying "What do you care what other people think," and then something else attached to it, maybe ten or so words. Then she said something, and I leaned over on the table, my arms and elbows on it, my head low, and was saying, approximately, in a low voice, almost a hiss, "You know, the thing I was saying before, the first part of it, 'What ...'"

I was trying to say "'What do you care what other people think?' was said by Richard Feynman to someone associated with the space shuttle disaster, during the investigation about it," but I found I couldn't. After the "What", which I had difficulty getting out, and trailed off after the "W", into a kind of breathy sound, the following words I couldn't get the consonants out for. I tried to say "do" and some of the other words, but they were all breathy sounds. My mouth was formed to say them, but they just came out as slightly different breathy slow rushes of air. My head was almost on the table. I was trying to explain the problem then too, but still couldn't say anything, just the breathy rushes of air through a mouth that was formed for the words but couldn't say any consonants, or even any vowels really. My sister was staring at me, frowning a little.

Then I was on the floor, slid off the table and slowly settled on the floor, laying there. I got turned over to face up. I may have done it or maybe other people did, I'm not sure. I looked up and saw my sister and some of her friends, bent down a little, staring down at me. Everything had changed to gray, they were dark gray figures on a lighter gray background, still clearly seen though looking 2-dimensional and flat. I reached my arms out straight up into the air, trying to grasp something and somehow pull myself up, though nothing was there, and the arms, pale and gray-colored, stretched out an enormous distance, maybe six feet, fading a little toward the end of them, even becoming a little transparent.

I was picked up and moved to a different room. The rooms were mostly open, though, frequently with room-sized openings between them. I was taken to a couch I think, or maybe a very large soft chair, which was at right angles to a couch where my grandmother lay on her side, facing out, legs bent a little. Behind her on the couch was a huge mound of clothes, along behind her and up beyond her head, loose clothes that were just thrown there, and more over them, it was a huge mound that went up onto the back of the couch, and all along behind her and past her head, occupying the couch area there. As it went along her and beyond her and around the top of her head, it formed a cliff that partly overhung her head and body, and I was worried about her, that it might fall onto her.

I couldn't get it straight in my mind for a while whether she was dead or alive, and after going back and forth in my mind about it I finally decided she was alive, that she had been dead for a while but came back to life, and should have some medical attention. The paramedics had been called for me, and were coming, and I think even arrived at some point, and though they were gathered around me weren't doing much. One or more people were talking on phones, maybe one of them too, though I think my sister was also on her cell phone. I kept trying to tell them about my grandmother, that they should do something because the clothes might fall on her, and also that she should be looked at, have her checked medically, that they should tell the medical people about her, but I couldn't say anything. I finally felt better enough that I was able to move over to her, crawl over from one piece of furniture to another, and partly hold her. I was starting to be able to make more definite sounds now, instead of just breathy noises, but still couldn't form words.

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Dream - After a final fight with some monsters, I fly away, dying, over the great water

On Saturday, September 11, 2010, around 6:30-9:30 PM, I had a dream in which my mother removed most of the furniture in the living room, and tried to throw a lot of things away. I was upset by it. At some point neighbors tried to get into the house.

Then, later, I floated in the air. I dived out over a cliff behind the house, and flew to the ground, several times. Somewhere beyond the cliff was a lake, but most of the area was just desert.

Inside the house, I met a guru, some kind of monk. He asked about the flying and I explained it to him, and how it got harder to stay up the longer I tried to do it. He had a constant smile, and nodded and said I was very advanced. I demonstrated flying some, pulling my legs up, one more than the other and then finally both, and hovered around in the air.

My family and others were at home. I wanted to demonstrate it to them, and went out back and ran and jumped off the cliff, while they were concernedly running after me. I flew off and went low and landed in the desert. It was night now. It was just getting toward night as I leaped off the cliff.

I went quickly forward then, going sideways from the area of the house, laying on my stomach, my hands, enlarged, digging deep into the desert floor like claws, rapidly pulling me forward. The furrows I made were glowing pale. Other things seemed to have a pale glow, too. My legs weren't doing much, but seemed muscular. I wondered to myself if I had done anything to them, injured them in some way.

Some strange creatures tried to get me, including something like a large owl, and something vaguely wolf-like. They all had a strange, pale glow about them. I managed to get away, though some of the things clung to me for a while, their jaws or bills hanging on, before I got loose. I managed to fly away a bit.

It was day now. A neighbor woman captured me, and tried to hurt me. She had a plastic baby, and tried to make it seem like I was trying to attack her, and trying to hurt the baby, to get me in trouble with the police, who she had apparently called or planned to call, or have someone overhearing her yell call. She put me in chains with a friend, who she had already captured I think, and tried to shove us out the window, but she and her friend were also with chains around them, part of our chains, and she couldn't get rid of us. We got away, wiggled out of the chains and out the window, which we were already half through.

She got me again, and tried to kill me, planting fly bot larva in a cut she made on me. I got the rod she cut me with and poked her in her arm, tearing a huge chunk out of the inside of her upper arm, and then poked her through the arm again. The end of the short rod had splayed metal, cutting a big hole, but making it hard to push through. She kept trying to push me over the low wall of the large balcony room. I was mostly on the floor, pushing up at her, and poked her hard in the lower stomach with the rod, but she kept at it. Most people would have stopped by now, backed away, but, surprisingly, she didn't act like she was much affected. I pushed harder, pushing the rod deeply in, hating to do it, afraid I was really hurting her, maybe even enough to kill her. Initially she kept fighting me, like what I had done still wasn't enough to matter. I didn't see how that could be, and how she managed to keep on going like that. It was really worrisome, and I hated to do any more, and was afraid that I might have to. She finally stopped and backed off, and went away behind some things, still talking and complaining. She was saying now that the rod went in really deep, with a little bit of awe, sounding like she might be considering calling a doctor, then she cried out that she peed her pants, and started raging against me. I could dimly see some other women, friends of hers, at the edges of the room, looking toward her, dismayed looks on their faces. They had been too intimidated to join in the fight, but I figured they might now come to her aid, and maybe get her medical attention.

I escaped, over the balcony, floating through the air to a lower doorway. It was getting late now, almost night. I disguised myself some, and met with some friends, out in the open, away from things. After some discussion, I decided to try to find out some information about the woman from her friends, what had happened to her I guess. I went over to a group of them, but they started to realize who we were. Someone called out that they had seen us before, "Isn't that..." We had to run away.

A man chased us, ran after us, a bad man, but we got away. We were inside a building now, I think, a very large one, perhaps the one from before, I'm not sure. We went toward the front. We met some nurses, and warned them about the man. It turned out they had met him before, and knew about him. We went to the nurses station, but the man was already there. He was their boss. We got into a fight with him. He was on a dark desk facing us with several strong bad guys pressed hard against his back, some turned to the front and others turned to the back. He was arrogant, sure of his victory. I threw something at him. It seemed to go right through him and at least partway through the men behind him, but with only a temporary effect. I fought with him and things were not looking good, and there was a bit of a struggle. The man behind him took out a pen to try to stab us with, but the boss bent the man's arm around toward the floor, to show us his power and that he didn't care for anyone. He or a man directed by him grabbed another man in the groin, from behind, the white-gloved cartoony hand coming around like some awful face with eyes.

I somehow managed to run away, the others too. We met a nurse and warned her. I went into a series of ghostly metal partitions, reaching almost to the ceiling, open at the bottom, like some strange bathroom stall dividers, except that they had some odd projections at the edges. They were evidently part of a filing system. They didn't quite reach the wall at the back, but almost, with not really enough room to squeeze through. I started going underneath them, trying to hide there.

The bad man came, and his arm stretched forward toward me, elongating tremendously, while he talked. I pulled on it, dragging it after me, then left it and ran, hoping he would be trapped there for a while. Getting away for now, I talked with some other people. The police had been called. I was in an area that was a big room where children played and ate, and were taught things, while their parents were elsewhere, eating or shopping. The room was still full of kids.

I talked to the people some more. The man wasn't around, they didn't know where he was, but the situation was not good. He had spying devices, apparently including cameras. He knew or could know where I was. I was with a roomful of kids now, it wouldn't be good to have him follow me here. I went over to the window, on the other side of the room, and went out it, and along the side of the building, clinging to it and things on it, using my power to float to help keep me there. We were on the first story, but the ground was a little lower than the floor, and fell away from it, with landscaping, including objects.

I got around to the front and went back in. Most of the people were gone now, it was almost deserted. I went back to the room the children were in and it was empty.

I went back to the front, and was walking along an area that seemed to be something like the radiator shop, the part with the test tanks, where they worked on the radiators, when suddenly the man tried to get in through a low window. He burst through it, the front half of him through and on the floor. He was triumphantly talking to me, but in an almost desperate sort of way, like he had achieved his victory with great effort and great cost. He had a large white cloth bag that he dumped open in front of me, hurling the contents my way as he did so.

Some strange animals came out, along with a dense assortment of bugs, that looked like tiny red crabs and pale shrimp, and maybe a few other things, along with a lot of thin red liquid. They landed on the floor a few feet in front of him, and several feet from me. I was holding a bunch of metal cables, that I had flailed at him earlier, back at the tall metal dividers. I started smashing at the bugs with them. The animals, small in size but fiercely growling, generally red with large pale eyes, slunk off. The man said that the bugs and animals had all been infected with a strange parasitic disease, that he wanted to infect us all with, something that he had to go all the way to Africa to get. He wanted to kill us all. A small Asian monk came in from my left and bent over to look at the bugs. I was smashing them with a cable, and warned him not to touch them, and told him he had to kill them. He backed off and then started hitting them with something.

As I smashed the bugs, some drops of red liquid got on me, and on him too. I hoped I was not going to get infected. I had to wash it off soon. I finally left, to let the monk carry on with it. The bad man was still there on the floor, halfway in the building. I wondered if he had already been infected, that he had gotten that way while collecting the animals and bugs. As I went back along the front part of the building, the direction the monk came from, the building was mainly empty, but I saw an occasional nurse. Large pillars were in place every little bit, and a reception desk was back by the wall, facing the general area of the entrance.

Suddenly other, larger animals tried to attack me. He must have secretly left them here earlier, to wait for me, before he broke through the window. Some of them actually bit me. Some of them had their strange pale eyes protruding and blending back into their red fur, like strange cooked egg whites, soft cooked.

I tried to warn a nurse to get away and warn people, but though she seemed to be struggling with an animal herself, she looked toward me and grinned evilly. She was working for him, I realized.

The animals were after me. I turned toward the front, heading for a window. I put my hand forward. It was hard to see, like things were getting enveloped in a pale fog. I found the window pane. It was thin plastic, and already had a broken place in the middle, where the plastic was split by something. I stuck my hand through it, pushing through. The broken area was only 5 to 8 inches. The animals were on all sides, barking and growling and snapping at me. My brain felt in a bit of a fog, too. I pushed at the plastic pane, crashed into it, forcing my body through it, splitting it open a lot more, squeezing through it.

I went out into the night, and soared out over the vast stone steps. The place seemed to be empty. There were a few cars out on the roads, away from the building, but not many. There was a vast sloping landscaped area, separated by white stucco walls, and parking lots, that still seemed to have a lot of cars in them. I went out high over everything, into the cool night, gradually getting lower as I went. I was heading toward the side of an overpass now, with water rushing under it, and crashing against the overpass with white foam. I was too low, I would hit the overpass, maybe even go into the water at its base. I remembered telling the guru monk earlier, about how I tended to get lower as I went, and him smiling at me, his constant smile, with a knowing look, and I inhaled deeply, seeming to become more buoyant as I did so, and that and with the will of my mind rose upward, and over the top of the overpass.

I soared out high over the landscape below, which became filled with channels of rushing, foaming water, separated by walls, a whole network of it. I was feeling bad, sick. I looked down sadly at it, and at the vast expanse of water beyond, that they ran roughly parallel to, though at various tilts along the way. I heard a voice in the air, from somewhere, high above and a little behind me, gently reminding me about depression. I wasn't sure who the voice was, but it seemed to be afraid that I would give up and throw myself into the rushing waters. I had intended to get to the UN and warn them, I think, but sadly thought that I might not be able to make it now.

I looked out at the last part of the rushing channels of water, and the great water beyond them, wondering where a safe place to land might be, and whether I would be forced to come down into the water, either the water channels or the great water beyond them, a lake or inlet of the ocean, because I wouldn't be able to go any further, or whether I would make it past them, to some place off to the side, to the right, and beyond.

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