400th post

This is the 400th post on this blog. It took a little over three years to put the last hundred posts on, quite a bit longer than the previous hundred. Some major events that happened in the last hundred posts were the posting of a long series of events from my life, mostly early life and mostly involving my grandparent's farm (The house on the highway), and the posting of what I said at my mother's funeral, and other posts about my mother, and I started the posting of my mother's book about her life. I also did three small novels for National Novel Writing Month in that time, and posted short excerpts from them. Regrettably, the Wordzzle posts, the posts with stories made from lists of words, ended partway through 2010, as due to illness I became unable to continue them.


Some of these posts can be found here:

What I said at my mother's funeral (Tuesday, March 01, 2011)

The cat that came back (Tuesday, March 15, 2011)

Dream - My mother and the cat that came back (Tuesday, March 22, 2011)

Dreams and visions of my mother (Saturday, May 07, 2011)


Dream - James Bond and the picture of the rose (Saturday, May 07, 2011)

"Until we meet again" (Saturday, May 07, 2011)

Two, two, two comic books in one! (Monday, June 27, 2011)


The house on the highway, Part 1 (Monday, February 28, 2011)

The house on the highway, Part 2 (Monday, February 28, 2011)

The house on the highway, Part 3 (Monday, February 28, 2011)

The house on the highway, Part 4 (Monday, February 28, 2011)

The house on the highway, Part 5 (Monday, February 28, 2011)

The house on the highway, Part 6 - Some things I missed (Friday, June 24, 2011)


This is Home, Part 1 - My mother's parents, and the rug with the rabbits with the glass eyes (Tuesday, January 15, 2013)

This is Home, Part 2 - Uncle Doc, Charley, the farm house, the log cabin (Saturday, February 02, 2013)

This is Home, Part 3 - Gypsies, hobos and tramps, the new doll, starting the day, the back porch and the carpenter and the bananas (Saturday, February 02, 2013)

This is Home, Part 4 - Fixing the walk, the gardens, getting lost in the corn, the fruit trees, puppies and kittens, the mouse (Sunday, February 10, 2013)

This is Home, Part 5 - Uncle Doc chopping wood, baby animals, the baby pig and its mother, trying to put the calf in the wagon, washing clothes, making soap, making cracklins, the lamb in the kitchen, baby chicks, Frankie and the cattle (Sunday, February 10, 2013)

This is Home, Part 6 - The Tuley Hill, the Old Home Place, spring, spring cleaning, wallpapering the rooms and Mom, the ice box, the ice house (Sunday, March 03, 2013)

This is Home, Part 7 - Plowing with Japie, Little Tony, Grandpa, Buster and Rowdy, Tony (Sunday, March 03, 2013)

This is Home, Part 8 - The big, big turtle, taking a bath, Charley: tricks and treats, Charley and the doll, cars and tractors, cattle, crops and food (Friday, March 15, 2013)


Wordzzle 97 - Marshmallow threats (Friday, January 29, 2010)

Wordzzle 102 - The mountains and the road (Friday, March 05, 2010)

The story behind "The mountains and the road" (Monday, May 10, 2010)


National Novel Writing Month 2012 - Winner! (Saturday, December 01, 2012)

National Novel Writing Month 2011 - Winner!

National Novel Writing Month 2010 - Winner!


Related milestone posts:

300th post (Friday, January 29, 2010)

200th post (Friday, August 21, 2009)

100th post (Saturday, January 31, 2009)

Well, here we are (first post, Monday, August 22, 2005)

Wordzzle 102 - The mountains and the road

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 46, for Wordzzle week 102.


Ten Word Challenge:

sugar daddy,
page,
Copernicus,
liquid,
craggy,
trapezoid,
milquetoast,
blizzard,
food cream,
dental problems

The milquetoast ate a Sugar Daddy
And turned another page
Would craggy curves and trapezoids
Become all the rage?

Was Copernicus a good guy
Or a villain in his day?
With history's revisions
Will nothing ever stay?

Numbers fell in blizzards
And as liquids ran away
Is food cream the answer
Or just a step along the way?

Would dental problems be included?
He really couldn't say
So much still to study
And the test would be today!


Mini Challenge:

Hersey kisses,
pregnant,
scarring,
cadet,
grist mill

Grist for the grist mill
They stand at attention, then march along
Cadets without number
Though I suppose a number is recorded somewhere

I sit here, watching them on TV, eating Hersey kisses
Too many can make you look pregnant
But I'm not female, and never wanted to be a cadet anyway
And it hides the scarring of the mind


Mega challenge:

sugar daddy,
page,
Copernicus,
liquid,
craggy,
trapezoid,
milquetoast,
blizzard,
food cream,
dental problems

Hersey kisses,
pregnant,
scarring,
cadet,
grist mill

The land lay like liquid food cream
Under a strangely empty sky
The road disappears into a point
That I must travel by

Craggy mountains in the distance
blurring into haze
Took forever to come closer
Though I traveled all the day

Sodas caused dental problems
Or so the dentist said
So Sugar Daddies and Hersey kisses
Were what I had instead

Problems without answers
Occupied my mind
Pondering the mysteries
Finding what I'd find

Should milquetoasts be beaten into cadets
To make the world go round?
And would the world stop spinning
If no more cadets were found?

Should blizzards fall in summer
To cool the hottest days?
And if they did would we complain
And wish for the sun's rays?

If Copernicus looked through his telescope
And found scarring on the lens
Would he give up and walk away
Or start over again?

Pregnant pauses proliferate
And bring forth what they bring
But sometimes what they deliver
Is not much of anything

The grist mill grinds so slowly
And grinds so very fine
The particles like dust all float
And clutter up the mind

Pages dance and flutter in the wind
And decorate the day
Recording all that man has said
And all he couldn't say

Through trapezoidal glasses
The world looks clear again
It seems to keep on spinning
Without going round the bend

The mountains stand before me now
And seem to fill the sky
The road still disappears
And its end I cannot spy

No road leads up the mountains
None that I can see
There seems no way for me to cross
To get where I must be

I see the end ahead now
The road turns right for me
And I drive along it
Past where the mountains be

The mountains gradually lessen
And behind me all recede
And I go on without them
To the place where I must be

Wordzzle 101 - Dr. John

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 45, for Wordzzle week 101.

Dr. John Linna, a mostly retired minister I believe, was a major Wordzzle player. He recently passed away, and the words in the Mini Challenge word list refer to him and his creations. He maintained several blogs, including Dr. John's Fortress, Dr. John's Word Play, Pigeon Falls, the Dragon's Lair (Fandango), and others. When I started playing he had a picture of an odd looking superhero, with a mohawk haircut, as his icon. He later changed it for a while to a dim picture of his face, and then changed it to a colorful ink drawing of a knight on horseback, heading at an angle toward the viewer. The superhero and knight references in the poems refer to those icons.


Ten Word Challenge:

smoothness,
crafty,
purchase,
brief,
chirping,
forever,
shift,
moonrise,
lampshade,
stereotype

Caught within the moonlight
The crafty creeping thing
Stepped into a lampshade
And could not step out again

Chirping in frustration
It struggled all in vain
The lampshade would not let it go
To be as it had been

It had to purchase the lampshade
That would not let it be
And they walked out together
Unstereotypically

Though not the normal couple
No brief affair had they
Locked in an allegiance
They continued on their way

They went that way forever
Or so it sometimes seems
With a shifty lack of smoothness
As a lampshade sometimes brings

After many a moonrise
They can still sometimes be seen
The lampshade and its partner
The crafty creeping thing


Mini Challenge:

remembrance,
Dr. John,
Agent 012,
dragons,
Fortress

The Fortress door hangs open
Its superhero knight has gone
The dragons circle sadly
Left now on their own

A town in a basement
Where the trains once ran on time
Has an interruption in its schedule
Over which it's hard to climb

To Agent 012's list of bad days
Add another one
One that will be especially
Hard to overcome

Words spoken in remembrance
Of the superhero knight now gone
The great Internet tale spinner
The mighty Dr. John


Mega challenge:

smoothness,
crafty,
purchase,
brief,
chirping,
forever,
shift,
moonrise,
lampshade,
stereotype

remembrance,
Dr. John,
Agent 012,
dragons,
Fortress

Stories of crafty smoothness
Or poems or anything
Long or brief or in between
Were things his thoughts did bring

He had a mighty Fortress
That overlooked everything
And from it his creations
From his mind did spring

A knight that laughs a lot
And a tiny town and train
And old and obscure words
Were written once again

Agent 012's adventures
And the Fandango dragon colony
And words that came from pictures
Created stories seamlessly

But a shift has somehow happened
Forever was cut in twain
Dr. John has left us
This is in remembrance of him

Perhaps somewhere a ticket
Is purchased for a tiny train
Perhaps somewhere Agent 012
Looks out from behind a lampshade

Perhaps somewhere dragons fly
Past a swift moonrise
Awakening the chirping birds
But unbothered by frog spies

Unstereotypical moments
Continue on with ease
With story after story
And it will never ever cease

Wordzzle 100 - Captured

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 44, for Wordzzle week 100.


Ten Word Challenge:

transfixed,
treachery,
basics,
fragrance,
sampler,
pregnant,
cartoons,
lark,
spartan

He watched the Saturday morning cartoons, and the treachery therein. It had started as a lark, but he sat there now, transfixed. He felt his brain being driven back to basics, the overlays of civilization falling away, until there was just the fear, and the fascination, and the tension. He felt he was seeing a sampler of terror, infused with a fragrance of frustration and utter failure. He watched, trembling, as pregnant pause after pregnant pause brought forth yet more disasters. He tried once to gather his resolve and his strength, recalling perhaps how the Spartans of old had held out against all obstacles, and tried to turn it off. The remote fell from his limp paws, however, as the Road Runner prevailed yet again and his adversary met a particularly ugly fate. The coyote sat there, watching, a whine escaping from between bared teeth, a whine that slowly grew into a howl, a howl that seemed as if it might never end.


Mini Challenge:

rapid,
camping,
blandishments,
transitory,
plug-ins

Should he be a he-man, an outdoorsman, go camping, wrestle bears, save people, be a hero, and enjoy the blandishments of others? Such things were transitory, though, and rapidly faded away. He looked among the other plug-ins. Ah, here was one for President. That looked more promising...


Mega challenge:

transfixed,
treachery,
basics,
fragrance,
sampler,
pregnant,
cartoons,
lark,
spartan

rapid,
camping,
blandishments,
transitory,
plug-ins

It's amazing how rapidly things can change. He had been out in the wilderness, hiking along remote streams and forested slopes, camping each night in a new place. Everything had been going well, until one night a horrible fragrance had gradually spread throughout the area, increasing until it was stifling in intensity. Then something had come and taken him, and he didn't remember what happened after that.

When he had woken up, it was daytime, and he was alone. He was laying on branches that had been formed into a bed, or perhaps nest. He was in an open area the size of a small house, surrounded on three sides by the mountain. A partial cave formed at the back where the inward slanting slope provided a partial overhang.

He walked to the front and looked down. The slope was very steep, but should be passable, at least for those who came prepared. He wasn't prepared now, though, and lacked even the basics. Everything was back in camp, wherever that was, even his shoes. It looked like he might be here for a while. He wasn't sure how to get out in stockinged feet.

He spent the rest of the day alone there, and examined the place thoroughly. There didn't seem to be any easy way out. Some plants grew there, but he didn't see anything that looked much like food. There wasn't any water either, though he supposed there would be quite a bit when it rained.

Late in the day he crouched by the edge and looked over again. There just didn't seem to be any way he could keep his grip for very long. He would start sliding, and the slide would turn into a tumble, and a series of falls, toward the trees below. If nothing else happened he would eventually have to try it, though. It was that or stay here and die.

He meditated for a while on the treachery that had put him here, and on how transitory life could be. If this was something from the cartoons, a fix would appear, even if the fix was something impossible. If this was something bad happening on a computer, downloads or plug-ins might be available to fix the problem. Life wasn't that easy, though, and sometimes fixes just weren't there.

That night the creature came back. He had been sleeping, but became aware of the smell, and forced himself awake. He saw a huge figure, indistinct, coming towards him. It was carrying something, and thrust it at him, making strange hooting sounds. He tried to push the material away from his face, feeling branches and maybe roots, and what seemed to be huge hairy fingers. The creature was persistent, though. He rolled, trying to get away, and the creature grabbed him. He pushed out at it, and felt a huge belly. He was puzzled for a moment, and then realized the creature must be female, and pregnant. He paused, momentarily transfixed by the thought, and then the creature was pushing his head down, into the mass of sticks and roots. He struggled violently, swinging his arms and kicking, hitting whatever he could. The creature grunted and threw him through the air what seemed to be a considerable distance. He landed awkwardly and painfully on his shoulder, and lay there moaning. The creature came to him and began to roll him back and forth, slapping at him and screeching. It went on and on, and eventually he lost awareness of it.

When he awoke it was morning again, and again he was alone. He went to look at what the creature had brought him, and he found that it was indeed some branches and roots. He guessed it was supposed to be food, but he wasn't sure it was something humans were meant to eat. He gingerly gnawed at the roots for a while. They tasted strange but not overly bad, but he couldn't bring himself to eat much of them. He wondered if he was going to be reduced to eating wrens and larks and mice and bugs, and a whole sampler of forest life. There didn't seem to be much of it where he was, though, and he wasn't sure how he would catch any of it anyway.

The creature didn't come back that night, nor the following night. The next day he dug in the dirt with a rock, hoping to find something, anything. He found some worms, and to his surprise, he ate them. He could really use some water now, but none was available. He worried about the creature coming back, but almost hoped it would. He hoped it would bring him something to eat, something that looked more like real food. He had given up on trying to fight it. It was simply too big. Even the ancient Spartans would have trouble fighting such a thing. And if he somehow managed to really hurt it, it would likely strike back much harder, and he might not survive. He thought of trying to talk to it, but there seemed to be a significant language barrier, and he wasn't sure anyway what niceties he could say or blandishments he could make that would convince it to let him go.

The next day it rained, and he spent a long time trying to catch drops from the air, but finally abandoned it and began drinking from the dirty puddles. He found himself eventually crawling along the edge, drinking from little streams of water shooting out over it. He moved along it, searching for better and cleaner streams, when suddenly he slipped, and slid over the edge. He grabbed and clawed desperately at the slope, as he slid down it, water rushing around and over him. Finally he came to a slightly depressed area and managed to stop. He clung there, unable to move, almost drowning in the water, as the hours wore on. Finally the rain eased up, and then stopped. but he found he still couldn't move, as there was no place he could go without sliding again. As the day darkened into night, he began to shiver uncontrollably, and he was afraid he would lose his grip anyway, and be lost.

Then a giant hand grabbed him, and he was thrown over a hairy shoulder and carried back up the slope. It brought him back to the nest of branches again, somewhat scattered now by the water, and laid him down. In a minute it threw something down by his face, something that smelled like a fish. At least it wasn't branches and roots this time. He was too tired to do anything right now, though, too tired to do anything at all.

In the morning, he found a sharp rock and scraped the scales off and began to eat it. He wasn't used to eating raw fish, particularly like this, but he got quite a bit of it down before he began to feel sick. He stopped eating and went off a ways and sat down, waiting for the feeling to pass, hoping that it would. By midday he was feeling a bit better, but still not ready to eat any more of the fish yet. He saw some more worms in the mud, but wasn't quite ready for them either. He found some puddles to drink from, and toward the end of the day nibbled some more at the fish.

The next night the creature brought some fungi, and he really wasn't sure if he could eat that, but he tried it and it didn't seem to cause him any harm.

Over the next few weeks the creature brought him various things to eat, usually some form of plant life, but sometimes other things. He had difficulty in eating a lot of it, though, and found himself growing thinner and thinner. He began to talk to the creature, and while the creature seemed interested, he wasn't sure it understood anything he had to say. Nevertheless, he talked to it about his life, and about why he had been in the mountains, and about how it wasn't going to work out keeping him here, that he was slowly starving to death. The creature occasionally made comments in its own language, and seemed sympathetic, but still kept him trapped there, on the mountain. He showed it his skinny arms and legs, and his ribs, and his stomach, and pleaded with it in a voice that was increasingly faint, and increasingly sounded strange in his own ears.

One night as he slept the creature came and picked him up and carried him away. He swatted at its back ineffectually for a while, and then gave up and just mumbled complaints in an odd, old-man's voice, before growing too tired even for that. After a long time the creature set him down, and then he was alone.

In the morning he found that he was back in camp. The tent was still there, leaning to one side and partially collapsed, and the pack of supplies was still hanging from the tree where he left it. He got a can of Spam from it and found he barely had the strength to open it. He did manage to open it, though, and ate the whole thing. He drank the water in his canteen, and then got some more from the nearby stream. He ate and rested for a few days before he felt well enough to pack things up and start the long walk out of the wilderness.

He wasn't sure why the creature had captured him. Perhaps it just wanted companionship. It had realized in the end, though, that it wasn't going to work out, and had brought him back. Perhaps it had understood something of what he had said, but more likely it had seen that he was getting skinnier, and in the end wasn't going to survive. It was nice of the creature to bring him back, and not just continue to keep him until he died.

He could never say anything about it, though. Few people would believe it, and those that did would fill the woods, looking for it, most of them trying to shoot it. He didn't want that. He would just say that he was lost for a while. That was easy to believe. He had been gone a long time and looked it. They probably even had people out searching for him now. In fact, he saw a helicopter in the air, coming this way.

Wordzzle 99 - The tower

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 43, for Wordzzle week 99.


Ten Word Challenge:

thermometer,
Pandora,
vivid,
langourous,
Saturday,
pancreas,
apple dumplings,
watch tower,
lichen,
sparrow

All along the watch tower
the apple dumplings watched.
Lichen covered sparrows
washed up upon the rocks.

Seven painful pancreases
waited to cross a road.
If they ever made it
still has not been told.

The thermometer was steady,
in an unsteady sort of way.
The sudden chills and heat spells
evened out they say.

Long languorous Saturdays
marched by everyday at noon.
Pandora opened up her box
and began to play a tune.

Vivid scenes aplenty,
remembered for a while.
Now it's time to go to sleep,
so good night my child.


Mini Challenge:

rigid,
spiritual,
ribbon,
web cam,
vitamins

The web cam saw the tree in the forest fall, but it had no microphone to record any sound that was made.

It wasn't lack of vitamins that had killed it.

Some vines had wrapped around the tree like ribbons, squeezing its rigid trunk, choking it.

It lay there now, dividing the forest floor into before and after.

To those near or on the tree as it fell, the results were physical and sometimes even traumatic.

To distant watchers on the Internet, it sometimes had a more spiritual component.

The web cam itself made no judgments, but merely watched.


Mega challenge:

thermometer,
Pandora,
vivid,
langourous,
Saturday,
pancreas,
apple dumplings,
watch tower,
lichen,
sparrow

rigid,
spiritual,
ribbon,
web cam,
vitamins

In the middle of a barren plain
a lonely watch tower stood.
From its heights a watcher watched
was he up to any good?

He had no web cam to help him out,
or assistants of any kind,
and his days were all spent watching,
usually well into the night.

Occasionally he'd see travelers
passing through from there to there.
Often they'd be merchants
on the way to sell their wares.

Sometimes people would stop by
and he'd hear tales of other places.
And sometimes he would buy some things
but not in all cases.

He also had a garden,
and a well that was drilled deep,
and a small grove of trees
with fruits and nuts to eat.

There was also a stand of windmills
to supply electricity,
and a small pond nearby
to attract ducks and geese.

The winds tended to blow briskly
whether it was dark or light.
The thermometer changed swiftly, though,
as day went into night.

In times of plenty he ate well,
with roast duck and vegetables and fruit,
and gravy and biscuits and homemade bread,
and apple dumplings too.

But when food was scarce it might be
sparrow and pancreas pie,
or leaves and bark and insects,
as the days and nights went by.

He watched from his tower
high above the barren plain.
As the days and decades passed
he watched and watched again.

The view was usually vivid,
with little chance of rain,
and usually changed little,
remaining much the same.

Sometimes he felt he was caught in
one of the ills Pandora released,
listless and languorous,
trapped there in defeat.

One day he took a piece of stone
off the tower by a crack,
and threw it out as far as he could,
and the next day it was back.

Most days he felt better,
and was satisfied with life,
and felt full of vitamins,
and his mood was light.

The choice he made so long ago,
almost like a spiritual thing,
he still felt was for the best,
and still made his heart sing.

One day some merchants stopped by,
but were not met at the door.
They found his body in a hallway,
laying on the floor.

They held a small service,
and spoke the words that came,
and fashioned a marker for him,
and buried him in the plain.

As travelers went by the tower,
sometimes stopping to pick fruit,
they swore they felt a presence
and sometimes saw one too.

And sometimes a dark figure
was on the tower high,
watching all the scene below
as in the days gone by.

Some people stayed away,
though others came to see,
but as the years went past
it faded to history.

One Saturday a traveler stopped
and saw the garden overgrown.
The trees were hanging low with fruit,
and the wind blew a mournful tone.

He saw the marker in the plain
and the grave where the body lay,
and he found other markers
marking other graves.

He went over to the tower,
as if he'd heard a call,
and put his hand on the lichen-colored stone
that made up the wall.

His schedule was not so rigid
that he could not stay a while.
There was so much here that he should do
he thought with a smile.

He would clean up the garden,
and eat some fruit from the trees,
and go all through the tower,
and see what he could see.

The days passed as he worked
and ate the vegetables and fruit,
and he often went to the tower top
to take in the view.

He decided to clean the tower too,
and read some journals he had found,
left behind by those who'd come before,
now bodies in the ground.

The days turned into weeks and months
and there was always more to do,
and more and more he was on the tower top
as the wind about him blew.

The dreams of travel faded
as into a routine he grew,
as he became part of just one place
instead of a salesman on his route.

One day he realized a year had passed
and that he was here to stay.
He put some long ribbons on a pole
to celebrate the day.

He put the pole upon the roof
so everyone could see,
and the ribbons flapped along their length
in the constant breeze.

Distant travelers saw the sight
and knew what it meant.
The empty and haunted tower
had a new resident.

In the middle of a barren plain,
a lonely watch tower stands,
and from its lonely windy heights,
a watcher watched again.

Wordzzle 98 - Inside the box

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 42, for Wordzzle week 98.


Ten Word Challenge:

treasure chest,
idiom,
pantry,
crippled,
baying wolf,
wind chill,
time,
angel,
salamander,
laundry list

The crippled angel's laundry list
held many things to do
Things were added everyday
but some were checked off too

A wolf cried out in loneliness
and lack of things to do
And the baying wolf's idiom
across the landscape blew

A squirrel looked in its pantry
at the acorns grown more few
and thought of warmer weather
when food in abundance grew

A salamander sat upon a treasure chest
waiting for the dew
and hoped for better weather
as the wind about it grew

A cow out in a meadow
was disturbed by wind chill too
and dreamed of summer days
as the wind about it blew

As time passed the wind was less
and the earth warmed anew
The wolf rejoined its roving pack
whose members became less few

An owl sitting in a tree
watched and called out "Who"
and the angel crossed items off his list
of many things to do


Mini Challenge:

risque,
radish,
ring tone,
ravishing,
ruler

The ravishing ruler heard a risque ring tone while eating a ripe radish, and reigned down hard on the rogue.


Mega challenge:

treasure chest,
idiom,
pantry,
crippled,
baying wolf,
wind chill,
time,
angel,
salamander,
laundry list

risque,
radish,
ring tone,
ravishing,
ruler

If the treasure chest was opened
what treasures would we see?
Ravishing radishes and ringing ring tones
and radiant rulers three?

Or rash and risque rabble-rousers
talking for a fee?
Or a baying wolf without a mate
a sad sight for to see?

Or salamanders packed in like sardines
for some a special treat?
Or food for empty pantries
if such a thing could be?

Or perhaps a breeze to cause wind chill
when warmth is what you seek?
Or crippled cats without hats
or boots for their tootsies?

Or the missing laundry list
of goals you couldn't reach?
Or a list of obscure idioms
spoken on a beach?

Will good or bad be revealed
when the lid swings free?
Best have an angel by your side
when its time to see.

Wordzzle 97 - Marshmallow threats

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 41, for Wordzzle week 97.


Ten Word Challenge:

teflon,
idealistic,
marshmallow,
opportunistic,
kittens,
beef,
sawing logs,
slapped,
tickled,
scissors

The marshmallows rolled and tumbled over the land, burying everything in their path, the good little kids and the ones who ran with scissors, the invalid in the bed and the lumberjack sawing logs, the kittens and the pit bulls, the slapped and the slapper, the tickled and the tickler, the idealistic and the opportunistic, those who ate beef and those who ate pork and those who ate no meat at all. Everyone fell beneath them, everyone was buried by them, no one was spared. And still the marshmallows went on, mile after mile of them, until there was hardly any place in the land that they had not been, and they were now nearing the sea.

As they went over a low ridge, they found a knight waiting for them on the other side. His armor was dark in color, Teflon coated and flame resistant. He was more used to fighting dragons than marshmallows, but he stood firm before them and raised his sword and pointed it at them. "You have destroyed this land, but you shall not pass on to other lands. This ends here."

The marshmallows paused a bit, building up in height as the ones behind kept on coming, then they went forward, flowing at him and around him. He swung his sword through them, slicing into some but mostly knocking them aside. Again and again he swung his sword, and they kept on coming, as high as his waist, as high as his chest, as high as his shoulders, as high as his head. He continued to swing his sword, and after a while only his sword was seen, and then only the tip of it, and then only a ripple in the marshmallows, and then there was nothing at all.

The marshmallows came to the beach, and neared the very edge of the sea, and paused again, raising up in height, growing taller and taller.

A dragon flew in, huge in size, and landed before them. "How has this happened," the dragon said, "that you have come all this way, and the knight has not stopped you?"

The marshmallows continued to raise in height, building up in an arc in front of and around the dragon, and then there was a ripple coming forward, and something tumbled down the slope of marshmallows and landed in front of the dragon. The dragon looked down at it. It was an armored glove. The dragon slowly bent down and gently picked it up in his claws. "I always thought it would end when one of us killed the other, or when we died together, fighting. The battle between us has been going on so long, year after year, it almost seemed like it would never happen, though I knew one day it must. I never thought it would end like this." A tear rolled down the dragon's cheek. "What will I do with myself now, what will I do..." He took a deep, ragged breath, seeming about to burst into sobs.

And then he released the breath, in a stream of fire, blowing a long column of flame across the marshmallows, turning his head from side to side. An awful keening sound began to spread among them and the fire burned on and on, black acrid smoke going up, the fire growing so large that it created its own wind, which grew stronger and stronger, sucking everything into it. The dragon crouched down, wrapping his wings about him, and let the wind blow past him.

Finally it was done. The dragon raised his head and saw a desolate, blackened, gooey landscape. All the marshmallows were destroyed. He looked down at the armored glove he was still holding, then turned around and, still holding the glove, sadly flew away.

After a while there was some movement in the blackened landscape, and part of it heaved up, gooey strands stretching, and a dark figure emerged. He raised a fist at the dragon, now a distant figure, far away. "Curse you, Dragon! That glove cost me good money!"


Mini Challenge:

ripen,
shelve,
laminate,
goofy,
Siamese

The bookshelves were once like Siamese twins, bolted together, but the room had been redone, and they were unbolted and one was left outside all summer and then all winter, and was now like a fruit that had ripened too much and had gone into decay, its laminate faded and coming undone and peeling up and away. Sitting at a slight angle in the dirt, more like a country cousin now than a twin, goofy looking and bucktoothed, good natured but without much schooling, it stood there and pondered the outside world.


Mega challenge:

teflon,
idealistic,
marshmallow,
opportunistic,
kittens,
beef,
sawing logs,
slapped,
tickled,
scissors

ripen,
shelve,
laminate,
goofy,
Siamese

The marshmallows began to ripen, but were not yet ready to pick. The kittens ate their roast beef sandwiches, and wanted more. A Siamese twin was sawing logs, and dreaming of sawing off his brother. Teflon laminated itself along the sidewalks, and then laminated itself again. A person who was tickled slapped the tickler, who responded with a goofy grin and a portrait of a pair of scissors.

"Perhaps we should shelve this thing," a voice said. "What kind of world is this, that makes no sense at all?"

"Some people will think that of any world, while others, digging deeper, will find an underlying order."

"Those who are idealistic are unlikely to be happy with these results."

"Then let the opportunistic be happy, for there are many opportunities here. The idealistic are seldom satisfied anyway."

"Do you really think it can work?"

"Yes indeed. In fact, there's even room for a dragon and a knight..."

Wordzzle 96 - Pixie party

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.


This is my entry number 40, for Wordzzle week 96.


Ten Word Challenge:

Badger,
roll out the barrel,
amazing,
a lovely cup of tea,
pressure,
frozen,
gandalf,
pixies,
top gear

"Roll out the barrel," the badger said, "and we'll have a lovely cup of tea." A gandalf and some pixies watched, and giggled merrily. "We'll eat and drink, and eat some more, and have some frozen treats. Then we'll shift the party into top gear, and dance amazingly." And the floorboards danced with them then, under the pressure of their feet, and even when the kegs ran dry, they never ran out of glee.


Mini Challenge:

smelly,
politician,
favourite,
token gesture,
garden

A garden grew on the compost pile, a somewhat smelly feat. It was a favorite politician's token gesture, an attempt to keep his seat. He said he cared about the land, and would stop eating meat. But alas his skills were a little too green, and he went down in defeat.


Mega challenge:

Badger,
roll out the barrel,
amazing,
a lovely cup of tea,
pressure,
frozen,
gandalf,
pixies,
top gear

smelly,
politician,
favourite,
token gesture,
garden

It looked like a lovely cup of tea, but closer examination showed it to be both frozen and smelly. He had no idea how that happened, particularly since he had just boiled the water a few minutes ago. He opened the door and threw the cup out into the garden. A gandalf, in the process of rolling out the barrel that held the small flowering bush, looked at him, startled. A badger, talking about something with some pixies, shook its fist at him. "Sorry," he muttered, and closed the door. At one time it would have been an amazing sight, but no longer, and he just wanted to block it out.

Things had been bad for a while now, since he had somehow insulted the little people, but it seemed to have shifted into top gear lately, and he was really starting to feel the pressure. Perhaps they had been bothered when he took out the mound and put in the garden. He wasn't sure, but it seemed to have started around then. He had tried to talk it over with them, but they had done a lot of yelling, and he had finally started yelling, too. He wasn't much of a politician in these matters. He didn't want to have to move, and he wasn't sure he could sell the house anyway with them playing tricks like this. It was probably too late to put the mound back. The dirt was long gone, and he wasn't sure he could recreate whatever it was they saw in it.

He fixed himself a lunch meat sandwich while he tried to consider what to do. When he tried to take a bite, though, the lunch meat shot out and flopped around on the floor like a dying fish. He stared at it and set the rest of the sandwich down. He wasn't hungry anymore. It had been one of his favorite foods, too.

He needed to figure out something pretty quick. He wondered if it would help to give them some food. He remembered reading that people used to set out butter for them, but all he had was margarine, and he wasn't sure that would be viewed in the same way. It needed to be more than a token gesture, though, and he didn't know if just getting some butter for them would be enough.

He heard a strange wailing cry and gritted his teeth. Maybe he should just leave, go somewhere, anywhere, even if he couldn't sell the house. He could just throw some things in a suitcase and find a motel for now.

He had finished packing and was about to leave when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it and saw a hooded figure holding a scythe. Beyond him was an old fashioned coach drawn by horses. The figure turned slightly and raised an arm toward the coach, indicating the open door with a bony hand. The man stared at the coach for a minute, then picked up his suitcase and walked toward it.

Nice of them to provide transportation.

Wordzzle 95 - Other realities

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 39, for Wordzzle week 95.


Ten Word Challenge:

alternate reality,
shadows,
frantic,
tomatoes,
field,
lilies,
DVD,
snow mobile,
aggravation,
music

Tomatoes grew in the field, among the lilies, almost hiding the rusting snow mobile. The wind blew, and shadows ran across the field, like beings from an alternate reality. A DVD set at an angle among the plants, like some crashed flying saucer. Whatever stories or music it may have held, it kept hidden. A squirrel came and scolded it for a while, than turned and ran when the wind came through again. An ant came by and waved its feelers frantically at the DVD, then finally went around it. A raccoon came and picked up the DVD, but then an eagle swooped down and grabbed the DVD in its claws. The raccoon waved a fist in aggravation, then began sniffing around the snow mobile, and the scattered bones there. The eagle soared high in the air, clutching the DVD, but then it slipped from its claws and fell, turning slowly, catching the light, flashing brighter and brighter, blindingly bright. The man groaned, and tried to move his head away.

"Take it easy," the doctor said. "You've been unconscious for a few days, but it looks like you'll be alright. Next time you're on a snow mobile, though, spend a little more time watching where you're going and a little less time watching DVDs."


Mini Challenge:

grounds for divorce,
pink panther,
salutations,
wavering,
lasagne

It would be grounds for divorce, he thought, except that he wasn't even married, and didn't even have a girlfriend. He knew that lasagna had been in the refrigerator too long. It had been looking a little gray, but he thought if he had some wine to drink with it, the alcohol would kill anything. It didn't seem to be that simple, though. So he had some more to drink, and finally started talking some leftover medicine he had, several types of it, all of it expired, and most of which he didn't remember anything about. He still felt sick, but also a lot different, and he wasn't sure if that was an improvement. He started watching cartoons on TV, afraid now to go to sleep. The Pink Panther looked out at him from the screen, and seemed to wink at him. He lifted his wavering hand and raised his glass toward the figure and said, "Salutations." The Pink Panther lifted his glass, too, and they seemed to click together.


Mega challenge:

alternate reality,
shadows,
frantic,
tomatoes,
field,
lilies,
DVD,
snow mobile,
aggravation,
music

grounds for divorce,
pink panther,
salutations,
wavering,
lasagne

A pink panther moved silently through the field, gathering tomatoes and lasagna from the plants there. A nearby billboard for coffee had the slogan "Grounds for Divorce" and showed a happy, smiling couple. A snow mobile got up on little cat feet and moved away, casting shadows in various directions, none of which looked like it. A badger watched a DVD on a portable player, its mouth wavering and a tear rolling from an eye. Some lilies beside it frowned, and took an occasional drag on a cigar. From somewhere music began to play with increasing aggravation, reaching crescendo after increasing crescendo, while waves of alternate reality after alternate reality rolled across. A kind of tense, frantic silence followed, finally settling down into a simple stillness.

The pink panther paused at one of the lasagna plants, but finally passed it by, evidently deciding it was overripe.

"You're smarter than I am," a voice from somewhere said.

The pink panther turned and saw a man on the other side of a window that was floating in the air. The man raised a glass towards him, nodding at him. The pink panther produced a glass of his own from somewhere and raised it also, and the glasses met in the air in a kind of mutual salutations.

Wordzzle 94 - Slip sliding away

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 38, for Wordzzle week 94.


Ten Word Challenge:

space cadet,
silver lining,
wood,
turtle soup,
minaret,
ice,
grease,
sales,
mandala,
mug

"Have another mug of turtle soup," she said. "Space Cadets need to keep up their strength."

"Space Cadets are also not supposed to gain weight. Our superiors get mad when we do that. It costs more to send us into space."

"You won't be able to do your best if you're as skinny as a minaret."

"I think one will do, though," he said, putting down the mug. For some reason it seemed terribly greasy. He started chewing on the ice in his drink.

"There's not much nourishment in ice. You should finish your soup."

He reluctantly took another sip from his mug. It didn't taste any better.

"Why couldn't you have gone into sales, or something like that? Then we could have had a normal life."

"I didn't feel like I needed a normal life. There are advantages to this job, you know."

"There don't seem to be many. I do like that mandala they make you wear, though. It's very pretty."

"You mean the Space Cadet emblem? It's very nice, yes, but they give us a different one later on, after we've completed our training."

"Is it better than this one?"

"Some people think so."

"That's good. Now finish off your soup. You need all you can get."

He raised the mug to his lips and finished it off, swallowing it quickly. At least now she would quit nagging him. He set the mug down and put his fists on the table top, feeling very sick now. He looked at the wood grain on the table, and wondered if it should be this close. He realized, then, that his head was leaning down. He thought he should straighten it up, but it seemed like a lot of work.

"The only real silver lining here," she said, "is the insurance policy they give you. It covers death from anything, and pays off an enormous sum. It would be sad to have to use it, though."

He tried to say something, to agree with her, but found himself sliding to the floor.


Mini Challenge:

broken bones,
slide rule,
garbage,
Chinese,
sanguine

"There's a slide rule here," he said. "If you get hurt using the slide, it's your problem."

"That's garbage. The slide attacked me. I have the broken bones to prove it. Is there no responsibility here?"

He looked at me sanguinely. "You did refer to it as being Chinese, like that was a bad thing."

"It has an American name, but it says it was made in China. That sounds deceptive to me."

"It's not deceptive at all. It was upfront about where it was made. If anyone is being deceptive it's you. You don't have any broken bones at all. I'm sure your arm was hanging that way when you came in here."

"It was not! Why, when I came in here I could do anything I wanted with it. I could swing it around my head if I wanted to."

"You could do that now if you wanted to, though you might have to help it out with your other arm."

"I'd rather not. In fact I feel faint even thinking about it. Maybe I'd better just lie down and wait for the ambulance."

"You're nothing but a troublemaker. Get out."

I moved off, grumbling to myself. There was nothing left to do now but fake a fall at the supermarket.


Mega challenge:

space cadet,
silver lining,
wood,
turtle soup,
minaret,
ice,
grease,
sales,
mandala,
mug

broken bones,
slide rule,
garbage,
Chinese,
sanguine

"Sales of turtle soup are not doing well," he observed.

"Maybe it's the broken bones in them."

"Exotic dishes are supposed to be exotic. It adds to the mystery."

"They aren't even turtle bones. They're chicken."

"How can you tell?"

"Some of them have the claws still attached."

"More mystery."

"It's certainly a mystery to me."

"Maybe I should have a block of ice carved into the shape of a minaret, or even a mandala. I could even use frozen grease instead of ice, make it even more notable. Something to bring in the curious."

"It would help if the food weren't so curious."

"I'll have you know I have authentic Chinese dishes, or very nearly authentic Chinese dishes, mixed with other cuisine."

"Your chopsticks aren't even wood. They're made of plastic."

"Yes, but they're made in China."

"What about these mugs with Space Cadets movie scenes on them?"

"They're made in China too, but I can't guarantee that they're authentic."

"What kind of customer are you looking for, exactly?"

"The kind of customer who is interested in something new, who likes the strange, the exotic, who isn't held back because things are a little different." He waved his hand around at the room. "I've tried to make this place different, full of unusual things, things you don't see everywhere else. See, I've even got some ancient Chinese slide rules."

"Those just look like strips of bamboo wired together. Why do they have English numbers on them?"

"How else would you use them?"

"Look, all this stuff is just a bunch of garbage. It's alright to try to be exotic, or strange, or just different, but this is just cheap. I'd like to say there's a silver lining, but there isn't one. There's nothing here at all."

"No, no silver. I do have some nice plastic place mats with silvery designs, though."

"That's what I mean! Nothing in here is real! Everything's fake!"

"Maybe so," he said, sanguinely. "Maybe so." He stirred the turtle soup and poured himself a bowl. "However, if a person believes that they are real, then to that person they are real, and if a person believes that they are fake, then to that person they are fake. I view it, then, as a problem on that person's part, a problem that can possibly yet be corrected. If you see a movie, all kinds of things may happen in it, even fantastic things, and yet some part of you must still believe it, or at least suspend disbelief, in order to appreciate the movie. Even if the acting is bad, and even if some things could have been done better, you must still believe, otherwise it becomes meaningless. We do the same types of things when we read books and stories. If people choose to believe, or choose to want to believe, then things can become real, even if just for a while. Now, I believe I'll have some turtle soup, Would you like to join me?"

After a pause the man said, "I believe I will."

Wordzzle 93 - Food fright

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 37, for Wordzzle week 93.


Ten Word Challenge:

spaghetti,
woe is me,
mythology,
avarice,
windy,
pathetic,
paper towels,
water,
all my children,
books

I unwrapped the glob of dripping paper towels, and found a soggy mass of spaghetti and meatballs. I looked at it and sighed. We're really going to have to get some more paper plates, I thought. Maybe even some paper bowls. I looked around to see if anyone had something I might want to trade for, but theirs seemed to be just as pathetic as mine, sometimes even more so. If we were said to suffer any form of greed right now, it was simply a desire for something decent to eat, and any great desires for wealth or power, any feelings of avarice, were forced to the distant edges of our minds.

I looked around again, but there wasn't anything better than what I had. The one next to me, in fact, must be one for the record books. It looked almost like something you would read about in mythology, as some eternal punishment someone was condemned to. I shuddered and took a drink of my water and looked away. Thank goodness it was windy out here, and carrying away the smell.

"Woe is me," the man said. "All my children made this for me, and I have to eat it." Then he looked toward me with desperate hopefulness and said, "Want to trade?"


Mini Challenge:

best deals of the week,
Nobel Peace Prize,
sleep deprived,
cauliflower,
practice

I should get the Nobel Peace Prize, I thought, for not throwing it at them. The frozen broccoli and cauliflower packages had been listed in the ad among the best deals of the week, and I had bought ten of them. When I opened them, though, I found that the contents were covered with frost and had lots of dark spots. I had decided to go ahead and eat them anyway. I hated to take them back. Not only would I have to go to the trouble of doing it, it would mean admitting I had made a mistake. I couldn't throw them away, either, as I didn't want to waste the money, even if I hardly paid anything for them. It had been several days now, and I was about halfway through them.

I dumped the contents of the package in the pot of water and stared at it, feeling sick and sleep deprived. I looked at it and sighed, and added an extra large glob of margarine to it, then some salt. Maybe that would help, I thought. Maybe I could keep it down this time. Practice makes perfect.


Mega challenge:

spaghetti,
woe is me,
mythology,
avarice,
windy,
pathetic,
paper towels,
water,
all my children,
books

best deals of the week,
Nobel Peace Prize,
sleep deprived,
cauliflower,
practice

"Are you sure you wouldn't want my sauerkraut and cauliflower and hot dog casserole?" the man next to me said, his eyes watering. "It's really very good."

"No thanks," I said, feeling sick at the thought, raising the mass of paper towels and spaghetti to my face to take a bite. "I'm trying to cut down."

He turned back to his food, staring at it, a look of disappointment and pain on his face. "Woe is me," he mumbled over and over. "Woe is me."

I looked at the other people there. Some were trading with each other, though we didn't seem to have the best deals of the week here. I took another bite of the spaghetti. We were going to have to buy some plastic forks, too. My paper bag tried to blow away and I grabbed it, then flattened it and set the paper towels and spaghetti down on it. It was getting a little too windy, but I wasn't complaining. I could hardly smell any of the food now.

"Why do these things keep happening to me?" the man said. "I like to think I'm a good person. I don't suffer from avarice or sloth or any of those other things. I'm faithful to my wife, and kind to my children. I'm even kind to animals. And yet this keeps happening. Why me? Why?"

I tried not to listen. Listening reminded me of his food.

"I bought them cookbooks," the man said. I bought them all cookbooks. My wife and all my children. And still, still this happens. Woe is me, woe is me."

I didn't reply, trying to appear absorbed with my spaghetti and meatballs.

"If anyone should get the Nobel Peace Prize, it's me," he said. "For keeping my peace."

I groaned. He just didn't want to stop. "Maybe with enough practice they'll get better."

"Practice doesn't help," he said. "They practice on me." He looked at the casserole again, tears running down his face. "I'm such a pathetic figure," he said. "Not even in legends and mythology has there been anything as bad as this. Woe is me, woe is me."

The sleep-deprived looking man on the other side of him, who had been staring at a bowl of mottled cauliflower and broccoli, turned toward him, a haunted, hungry look in his eyes, and said, "Want to trade?"

Wordzzle 92 - The Scarecrow and the King of the Turtles

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 36, for Wordzzle week 92.


Ten Word Challenge:

sugar,
mortgage,
logical,
roller skates,
outlandish,
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus,
cumberbund,
unexpected,
photo album,
scarecrow

The Scarecrow looked outlandish in my roller skates. The cummerbund didn't help, especially since it tended to slide down to his knees. I watched him as he rolled around, his boneless body flowing back and forth as he tried to keep his balance. The visit had been totally unexpected, and I still wasn't sure why he came.

He finally rolled up to me and, bracing himself against the house, took the skates off. He then took off the cummerbund and handed it and the skates to me, thanking me as he did so. I said I was going to have some tea with sugar and offered him some, but he declined, saying that liquids were bad for his straw. I folded up the cummerbund, something my grandfather had owned, and put it back in its drawer, and the skates back in the closet. Then we sat on the couch and talked for a while, and I showed him my photo album.

When it was time for him to go, I remarked that it was good that he had come when he did. I was behind in paying the mortgage, and it looked like they were going to repossess the house. He unbuttoned his shirt a little and reached into his chest and pulled out a large sum of money, tens of thousands of dollars, maybe more, and handed it to me, telling me to take it. I looked at it, surprised, and finally slowly took it. I asked him where it came from, and if he was sure he wanted me to take it. He wouldn't say how he got it, but assured me everything was alright. And yes, he wanted me to take it, that he didn't need money himself and it was logical for me to have it, and this was something he wanted to do. I thanked him profusely, and he nodded at me, and looked happy and a little embarrassed, if a scarecrow could look embarrassed. We hugged then and he left. I watched him go, ambling loosely along, an occasional bit of straw falling out. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he came a little early this year.


Mini Challenge:

tomatoes,
turtles,
basement apartment,
circumference,
make my day

The King of the Turtles came slowly toward me, a large creature with a huge circumference. I had hidden in my basement apartment, but they had found me anyway. "We have the building surrounded," he said. "Yield your tomatoes to us."

I got up and went toward the refrigerator, trembling a little, and got out the bag. I picked up one of the tomatoes from it and held it for a moment, looking at it and at the King. "Go ahead, make my day," went through my mind, and I thought of throwing it, as I had thrown some others that day. The King's massive presence, though, and the thought of the others waiting, many of which would surely come in, took away any will to fight. "Sure," I said, handing him the bag. "All you had to do was ask."


Mega challenge:

sugar,
mortgage,
logical,
roller skates,
outlandish,
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus,
cumberbund,
unexpected,
photo album,
scarecrow

tomatoes,
turtles,
basement apartment,
circumference,
make my day

The King of the Turtles sat on his thrown, or, rather, lay in it. A bag of tomatoes was on the floor beside him. "It was as you said," he told the Scarecrow. "We found him in his basement apartment. He gave us the tomatoes without a struggle."

The Scarecrow nodded toward him, bowing a little even. "I'm glad to hear that, your highness," he said.

"We knew we could count on you," said the King. "Your detective skills are widely known. I have your fee ready, plus a little more." A line of turtles slowly walked in, pulling a small cart filled with an outlandish sum of money.

"This is most unexpected, your highness," said the Scarecrow. "This is enough to pay off a whole mortgage."

"Nevertheless, I want you to have it. I have far more money than I can ever spend, and finding the perpetrator has made my day. It is only logical that you take it. Think of it as a little extra sugar on top."

It was more than a little extra sugar, thought the Scarecrow, not that he ever consumed such things. A little extra straw was all he needed, as he sometimes lost bits of it along the way. "Thank you very much, your highness," he said.

"Let us take some pictures of the occasion," the King said. "For the royal photo album."

A ramp was brought up and the King slowly made his way down it, his massive circumference swinging to one side and then the other. The Royal Photographer came up, then, and the camera was erected on its tripod, and pictures were taken of the King and the Scarecrow and the money in various official poses. The Scarecrow then thanked him again, bowing low, and took the money and walked out, turning and bowing again at the doorway.

He walked away from the Royal Castle/Residence/Burrow, stuffing the money in his chest and musing to himself. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Now maybe he could get some roller skates and dress up fancy, maybe even wear a cummerbund, something he had always wanted...

Wordzzle 91 - No telling

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is two weeks after the previous one, as a week was skipped for Thanksgiving.

This is my entry number 35, for Wordzzle week 91.


Ten Word Challenge:

edge,
haven,
sunglasses,
sprightly,
telling,
frazzled,
juicy,
quartet,
tied,
necklace

There was no haven here. His eyes, hidden by sunglasses, looked out, surveying the land. More dirt crumbled from the edge of the cliff, taking a chunk of pavement with it this time. The man stepped back slightly, and checked the time on his broken watch. It didn't tell him anything useful. Looking a bit frazzled now, he stepped back a little more. From somewhere, it seemed, he thought he heard the sound of a quartet singing. It was a sprightly tune, or could be, but it seemed distorted by distance, almost slowed down. Looking at the edge again, he noticed a spiderweb on one of the posts. Just the thing for catching juicy flies, he thought. Not much good for larger things. His shoes needed polishing he noticed, and one had become untied. No matter. It didn't seem important now. He started to look at his watch again, and then put his arm back down. He loosened his tie, and finally took it off. Women are lucky with their necklaces, he thought, and don't have to wear these choking things. He wadded it up and tried to stuff it in a coat pocket, then finally got frustrated and threw it away. He watched it sail out over the cliff, slowly turning. That probably wasn't the most prudent thing to do, but it was just the latest in a long line of not-so-prudent things. He walked back and forth a little, then tapped his foot in impatience. The sun was setting now. This certainly was taking a long time. He almost looked at his watch, then stuck his hand firmly in his pants pocket. It used to be you could depend on things, but there was just no telling now.

Finally, a large white horse trotted up. It had a saddle on it, but no rider. He was unfamiliar with horses, but this would have to do. He put a foot in the stirrup, then swung into the saddle. It felt right, somehow, to be sitting there. He peered out over the cliff one last time, at the burning car far below, then rode away.


Mini Challenge:

bees,
crackling,
wooden,
staple,
earful

The bees buzzed boundlessly,
all across their flowered spot.
The crackling footsteps going by
disturbed their working not.

The squirrel got an earful and looked
from its wooden home to see.
A bear, in the woods that day,
peered out from behind a tree.

A caterpillar munched happily
upon a tasty leaf,
for leaves were its staple food
and its food in chief.

The woman strode upon her way,
no creature did she see.
Oblivious to the world she went,
lost in reverie.

In dreams of colored cloth and colored thread
and sewing merrily,
and contemplating the age-old thought,
of whether to bee or not to bee.


Mega challenge:

edge,
haven,
sunglasses,
sprightly,
telling,
frazzled,
juicy,
quartet,
tied,
necklace

bees,
crackling,
wooden,
staple,
earful

"Mind your own beeswax," she said.

"Huh?"

"You heard me, keep your nose out of it."

He sighed, in a frazzled sort of way. He knew he was going to get an earful if he kept this up, but there seemed no other way. "Look, we've got to settle this..."

She turned to him and pulled his sunglasses off and punched him in the eye, then put them back on. "That settle it for you?"

"Ow!" he said, in what he hoped was a sprightly manner. "Not really!"

She started to reach for his sunglasses again, and he stepped back quickly. "Surely we can talk about this."

"Enjoy yourself. Let me know when you're done."

"That's not very helpful."

"Apparently not. Let me try this." She took off his necktie, wrapped it tightly around his mouth, and stapled it together at the back of his head. "How about that?"

"Ib's harb bu balk bike bis."

"I'm glad you noticed." She then began to staple the sleeves of his coat to his pants.

"Mmmph!"

"You brought this on yourself." She reached down and untied his shoes, then tied them to each other. She put another quartet of staples in his pants at the knees, binding them together.

She turned and started to walk away, and he hopped after her, then tripped and fell on the wooden floor. He hoped the crackling sound he heard wasn't him. He squirmed and twisted and managed to pull his sleeves lose, with a sickening ripping sound. He then tore his necktie loose, and let it fall on his shoulders like a strange necklace.

"I wish you hadn't done that," he said.

"We all have our dreams."

"I have to know the year you were born. It's not like I'm after some new bit of juicy gossip. I have to have it to do a proper astrological chart."

"I told you," she said, looking frazzled, "that I'm not going to tell you."

"But how will we ever know if we're compatible?"

"Look," she said, a real edge in her voice, "you're driving me crazy."

"At least it's a short trip."

"What?!"

He wasn't sure what happened after that. The nurses at the Merciful Haven Hospital kept the charts hidden, and the doctors weren't telling.

Wordzzle 90 - Passing inspection

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 34, for Wordzzle week 90.


Ten Word Challenge:

love is a many splendored thing,
trucks,
inspector,
symbols,
rising,
organic,
liberation,
costly,
smug,
naughty

"Love is a many splendored thing," said the inspector, counting his money, a smug look on his face. "It may seem like I have a rather naughty fondness for cash, but who doesn't? On the bright side, though it may seem costly, all your trucks have passed, and you have nothing to worry about now. I will give you the stickers to place on them, symbols of them having passed the tests, and all will be well. No one will know the difference."

I looked at him and at the money, my anger rising and falling like an organic thing. My face remained expressionless, though, and I still felt a hidden liberation at the knowledge that all the money was counterfeit.


Mini Challenge:

the nature of the beast,
identical,
charcoal,
braggart,
vacation

"I'm no braggart," he said, pouring gasoline on the charcoal, "but I'm the best when it comes to barbecuing. That's just the nature of the beast. No one's better than me, no one is identical to me, and no one even comes close. This will be a vacation to remember."

He was right, of course, though after the fire trucks left we ended up eating inside. The pizza was pretty good, too, and was delivered quickly.


Mega challenge:

love is a many splendored thing,
trucks,
inspector,
symbols,
rising,
organic,
liberation,
costly,
smug,
naughty

the nature of the beast,
identical,
charcoal,
braggart,
vacation

"No two are identical. When everything is handmade, that is the nature of the beast."

I looked at the faces carved in charcoal and encased in plastic. Some were of animals, and some were of people. They were intended to be comical paperweights, but they all seemed creepy somehow, like they were symbols of death and destruction. "Have you got anything else?"

"I have some tiny cacti in organic potting soil, with little naughty signs in front of them."

I sighed. "No, that's not quite it either. I was really looking for something else."

"I have some little toy trucks full of toy soldiers, with an assortment of stickers to go on the sides, for the liberation army of your choice."

"No. No. Something else."

"How about this?" he said, showing me a large fake police badge saying "Vice Inspector" with the phrase "Love is a many splendored thing" in a curve along the bottom.

"No, that's not it," I said, my voice rising in pitch.

"A hard one to please, I see. Well, I have something here that's a bit more costly, but well worth it. It's a laser-engraved oak plaque, trimmed in real silver."

I stared at it. It showed an old-fashioned outhouse by a stream. A crescent moon was cut into the door, which was partly open. A fishing pole projected from it, and a sign hung on the outhouse said "On Vacation."

I swallowed. My throat was suddenly dry, my voice hoarse. "I'll take it. It's perfect."

"I knew I could find something for you," he said smugly.

Let him be happy, I thought, as I walked away with my purchase, numb with elation. I didn't care. I had finally found the perfect trophy for the contest we were holding. The "My excuse to stay home from work is better than your excuse" Braggart Competition could now begin.

Wordzzle 89 - Sugar-coated

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 33, for Wordzzle week 89.


Ten Word Challenge:

officer,
candid,
drowning,
turtles,
sugar-coated,
prospecting,
shame on you,
reclinder,
luggage,
brains

"Shame on you," said the officer to the man on the portable recliner who was eating sugar-coated gummy turtles and taking candid pictures of the near-drowning.

"Why?" said the man. "They should be worth some money to some news agencies. Don't you think a man ought to be able to make some money where he can?"

"Of course," said the officer. "I don't recognize you, and by the luggage sitting by you it appears that you are not local to here. I guess you're just traveling through, prospecting for stories, and it may be that wherever you were raised they didn't bring your brains, and your manners. to the levels expected around here. I was referring, of course, to your not offering to share your sugar-coated gummy turtles with me."


Mini Challenge:

paragon of virtue,
cats-in-the-cradle,
swamp,
sprinkles,
garbage

The paragon of virtue, covered with sprinkles of garbage and stringy plants, looking like a crazy cats-in-the-cradle had attacked him and died on him, climbed out of the swamp. His day, sadly enough, had just begun.


Mega challenge:

officer,
candid,
drowning,
turtles,
sugar-coated,
prospecting,
shame on you,
reclinder,
luggage,
brains

paragon of virtue,
cats-in-the-cradle,
swamp,
sprinkles,
garbage

The moss-and plant draped man, looking like a mad cats-in-the-cradle come to life, stood there, dripping pieces of garbage and swamp.

"Hey, watch it," the officer said. "You're getting sprinkles of that stuff on me."

"This is not the way a paragon of virtue should be treated," the man moaned.

"Well, you should have watched where you were going. Nobody with any brains would want to drive into that swamp."

"It was an accident, I was drowning," he wailed. "Does nobody care?"

"Let me take a few more candid shots," said the man in the recliner. "And try not to drip on my luggage."

"Shame on you, oh shame, shame!" cried the man. "I have suffered so much, and this is all I get. I was trying to avoid running over some baby turtles and lost control, and went into the swamp. And all I get is this, and no one cares, and I'm asked to pose for pictures when I'm sure I don't look my best, by someone prospecting for bad shots."

"Baby turtles? That reminds me. I think I might have dropped some of my sugar-coated gummy turtles back there. You didn't run over any, did you?"

Wordzzle 88 - Who done it?

This is my contribution to this week's Wordzzle. Wordzzle is a game in which each week word lists, used to create stories, are given on the blog Views from Raven's Nest. Participating users post their stories on their own blogs.

This is my entry number 32, for Wordzzle week 88.


Ten Word Challenge:

Cute,
come with me to the Casba,
bloodhound,
respiration,
Facebook,
Canada Geese,
modern,
gravity,
spider webs,
sea shells

"Come with me to the Casba," whispered the bloodhound, in breathy respiration.

The Canadian geese listened attentively but didn't move, held down more by the spider webs than by gravity. A small dog with sea shells hanging from its ears said, "You looked much cuter on your Facebook page."

The bloodhound nodded in acknowledgement and said, "It's amazing what modern photo editing programs can do. It's a mystery to me why more folks don't use them."


Mini Challenge:

curiosity killed the cat,
charming Victorian,
railroad tracks,
tower,
salt and pepper

"Curiosity killed the cat," said the charming Victorian gentleman, as he poked at the salt and pepper gravel around the railroad tracks, "but even those who aren't the least bit curious die eventually." He turned and looked at me. "That's what happened to me, you know. I wasn't curious at all, I simply happened to fall out of a tower."

He continued to ramble on, but I was distracted by the sight of the body lying beside the tracks, a body knocked there by the recently passed train.

A body that looked very much like mine.


Mega challenge:

Cute,
come with me to the Casba,
bloodhound,
respiration,
Facebook,
Canada Geese,
modern,
gravity,
spider webs,
sea shells

curiosity killed the cat,
charming Victorian,
railroad tracks,
tower,
salt and pepper

"I used to sell sea shells by the sea shore, but someone stole them all," said the bloodhound. "You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"I know nothing at all about it," said the little dog, "and I got these sea shells from a perfectly reputable source."

"I was called away to try to solve a murder mystery," said the bloodhound. "Someone sprinkled salt and pepper all over the trail, though, and I lost the scent. When I returned, all my things were gone."

"It wasn't me! And I'm sorry you weren't able to find out who killed the cat!"

"Who said anything about a cat?"

"Why, er, I just assumed... Curiosity killed the cat, anyway. Everybody knows that!"

The bloodhound turned to the Canadian geese, who said, "It wasn't us! We've been stuck in the spider webs all day! And we wouldn't know a thing about a cat being thrown from a tower onto some railroad tracks!"

"Who said anything about a tower and railroad tracks?" said the bloodhound.

"I wasn't there when the cat's respiration ceased. I never saw her last breath, or any of the breaths before that," a charming Victorian gentleman said, almost invisible in the shadows of a doorway.

"Who said she was a female?" said the bloodhound.

"I just read her Facebook page," said a cute young woman dressed in modern clothes. "She didn't say anything about being dead."

"Who said anything about the cat having a Facebook page, and how could you find it without knowing who the cat was and what name she used?"

The bloodhound looked with great gravity at all of them, and they cowered away under the intensity of the look.

"Who said anything about the cat being dead?" said the cat, casually strolling in. They all turned to look at her. "Come with me to the Casba," she whispered to the bloodhound.

The bloodhound looked back at her. "I thought you'd never ask."