Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Dream - The no-win situation

On Monday, June 14, 2010, around 4:15-7:00 PM, I dreamed I was with my mother. I had just picked her up somewhere. We were either in a very small room, cramped with things, or in the car, still cramped with things around us, though not much between us. We were separated by a little space, two or three feet, like she was in the passenger seat and I was in the driver's seat, though we could also have been sitting somewhere inside a small room as I said. I was going to take her somewhere, back to the house maybe. She looked younger than she does now, maybe in her fifties, maybe even forties. It was daytime, maybe early afternoon.

I was smiling, happy. I asked if she had seen it, on TV, when I had won. She had something she had tried that hadn't won. I hadn't expected her to win, I knew it was a waste of time, but it was something she wanted to do, something she wanted to try. She talked some about her attempt to win, but she wouldn't say anything about mine, and I kept repeating it. I knew that I had won, was absolutely sure of it. I had a lot of money now, or would soon.

I finally realized that she hadn't seen it, that it hadn't been on TV, and that I hadn't won either. I said something about it, getting quieter and trailing off a bit, looking less happy and more thoughtful. I was puzzled. I couldn't understand it, I was supposed to win, it had been fated that I should win. I thought about it to myself. I couldn't understand it, something must have gone wrong, but what could have happened? Had I just been fooling myself, and was no more likely to win than she had been?

She said, quietly, gently, not to worry, I would have a lot of other things, it was my birthday and they were going to give me presents and have a birthday dinner. We went home, and I lay in bed for a while. My sister came in and I talked to her for a while, until my mother and father came back. They talked a bit about what they had planned for me, the dinner and the presents they were going to give me. It was getting late afternoon now, and it wouldn't be long before it happened.

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