Dream - The out of body experience and the egg-shaped soap that might be my soul

On Sunday evening, June 6, 2010, I had a dream in which I was at home, but it was different, with a lot more rooms. My mother was also there, and maybe somebody else too. I talked to her a little, but didn't actually see her much, as she spent most of her time in other rooms. Things seemed strange, and everything, even the air, had a kind of grainy feeling. As we talked, I wandered through various rooms, ending up in one that didn't normally exist. It was mostly bare, with pale walls.

I was carrying what seemed to be a bar of very large soap, maybe seven or eight ounces. It was vaguely egg-shaped, but with sharp, almost square, edges, with flat sides and just a little rounded on the top and bottom. I had been intending to take a shower at some time, I think, when I got around to it. Something was going to happen later, it seemed, or somebody was going to come, maybe the next day, in the morning. It was late at night now, and things seemed bleak. I held the heavy soap in my right hand, and glumly looked at the bare, grainy walls.

Suddenly I was drawn away, back to my bedroom, flowing through the air, my body stretched out and distorted, still hearing the voices from the other rooms. As I settled into bed, or my spirit did, I felt a return to more solidity, and became aware that I actually was in bed and had been sleeping, but was now waking up. I still held the large bar of soap in my hand.

Then I felt a change, a kind of coolness, and like my body was changing to bright points and shifting forward, my head and upper body moving partly out of my physical body, moving upward a little, but still not fully out. As it was doing this, my perspective also shifted, the ceiling becoming closer. I recognized what was happening, from the feeling and the shift in vision, the going closer to the ceiling. I was trying to have an out of body experience, an astral projection, and was already partway out of my body. I wanted to have one, and tried to concentrate on making it happen. The ceiling seemed to loom much closer for a moment, like I was right underneath it, so close that I drew my head back some in surprise, squinting at it. I didn't feel too much different, but there seemed to be an increase in outside noise, a kind of muffled roaring and murmuring.

Then I was back where I had been, still on the bed, partway out of my body, but less so than before. I was still holding the heavy soap. Amused, I dumped it out of my hand, to let it fall back over the side of the bed, on the side toward the wall. It didn't seem important now.

I thought, still with amusement, that it might be my soul, like in the book by Roger Zelazny, "Jack of Shadows." In the book, on the dark, magic-controlled side of the earth, a person's soul was contained in an egg-shaped rock that he found he held in his hand, when he died and was resurrected and found himself laying on a mound at the south pole.

If it was my soul, I had just dumped it. Oh well, I could always come back and get it later, I thought, and went back to trying to have an out of body experience. I don't remember much after that, though it seems that something did happen. Maybe even quite a bit, which brings a certain uneasiness to thoughts about it. Thoughts about beings I might have met, and contracts entered into and broken, and struggles with the beings and struggles about them, and an opposing side that helped me, and that I helped, and some difficulty in getting my soul back after all. It seems like something like that might have happened, it feels like it might have, but there's no way to know for sure. I have just the briefest of memories. There was never any soap, though, it was all part of the dream. I know; I looked for it after I woke up.