Friday, November 21, 2008

Posts from the Story blog

These are my posts to's Neverending Story, at its blog location. The times given are from my computer and are Arizona time, and may not exactly match that given on the blog.

5:29 AM 9/8/2005

"Good thing for you," the owl said, "I have a remedy right here." The owl pointed to a nearby bottle and said, "we can discuss the cost later."

Doctor Morgenes peered into the bottle suspiciously and said, "We should discuss the cost now. What if I don't have enough money to pay you?"

The owl said, "All the other purchasers have been able to pay. And who said that the payment would be in money?"

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

2:16 PM 9/18/2005

Doctor Morgenes looked at the portable exorcism machine. "Does this also work on tea chests, or Chinese puzzle boxes with strange, brightly colored creatures inside?" he said, perhaps remembering another time that now may or may not exist.

"Certainly," said Father Wetherley, "but you'll need to pay it with more than just a cup of tea. And you may have to use it twice on the puzzle box."

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

9:26 AM 12/27/2005

... Dr. Morgenes, crying, "You're on my foot! You're on my foot!"

Abashed, the giant ape moved to the side. Morgenes, quietly sobbing, took off his shoe and counted his toes.

Abrubtly, an anvil fell on the other foot. "Sorry, " the Anvil said. "Just thought I'd drop in."

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

7:54 AM 5/26/2007

He threw her over his shoulder, and then screamed shrilly. He awkwardly dumped her on the ground and staggered back. Quills protruded from his hands and from his shoulder. His wife had turned into a porcupine!

Unsuccesfully fighting back tears, he began pulling quills from his hands with his teeth, as the porcupine ambled off into the forest, slowing turning into an anteater as it went. The forest? How had he gotten back there?

From somewhere behind him a voice said, "Let me have a look at that."

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

6:06 AM 6/8/2007

...when Dr. Morgenes heard a small squeaky voice say, "Wait, he has no money."

He looked down and saw a weasel, who had evidently managed to go through all of his pockets and placed all the contents on the ground. Dr. Morgenes was surprised to see the large number and variety of things that he had managed to bring with him.

"He has these odd colored papers with portraits on them," the weasel said, holding up some cash, "but they're not that well done and I doubt we'll be able to get much for them. In fact, I doubt we'll get much for the full pile."

"Well, in that case," the tiger said...

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

7:05 AM 9/4/2007

The tiger-doctor selected a very large pair of very shiny pliers and went over to Dr. Morgenes, where he paused for a long time, surveying the damage. Finally Morgenes cried, "Are you going to do anything or not? And do you have anything to ease the pain of these quills? They're killing me!"

The tiger said, "Pain is good, it teaches us things. However, we have a complication here. These are magic quills from a magic porcupine. If we pull one out, it will regrow within a few seconds. And even without pulling any out, they are slowly multiplying. Fortunately, I have invented a machine for this very situation."

The tiger then somehow produced from one of the pockets of his lab coat a metal box the size of two shoe boxes side by side. It had a vertical handle on each side and two buttons on top, one yellow and one red. The tiger pushed the yellow one and two small finely toothed wheels emerged from the front and and stuck out perhaps half a foot. They rested against each other, like interlocking gears. The tiger then pressed the red button, and the wheels began to turn rapidly with a shrill, whining sound.

"Allow me to demonstrate," said the tiger. He picked up a small stick and pushed pushed it into the wheels. The stick was immediately pulled between the wheels and into the box, with a grinding, crunching sound.

"The stick was destroyed inside the box, as will be the quills," said the tiger. "Destroying the quills also destroys the magic, or at least reduces it to a disorganized form. The disorganized magic may cause some odd effects in the immediate vicinity, but this should not be a big problem. Though the destroyed quill will not itself regrow, other quills will eventually grow because of the radiated magic field of the remaining quills, making rapid removal of all the quills absolutely mandatory."

The tiger turned toward Dr. Morgenes and raised the machine. "Hold still, I wouldn't want to catch anything in the wheels that I shouldn't. If at some point you find yourself fainting, try to fall the other way."

The tiger tightened his grip on the handles of the box and moved it forward toward the quills.

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

3:45 AM 12/2/2007

"First the good news," the tiger-doctor said. "The quills are gone. The bad news is that the machine exploded, dispersing the magic from the quills into the environment. Especially the environment it was closest to, your shoulder."

Dr. Morgenes, with an increasingly bad feeling, slowly turned to look at his shoulder. What he found there filled him with horror. He stared at it, speechless. It was a small head looking just like his, staring back at him.

The small head finally said, "The really bad news is that the weasel's underneath us. If you don't move you're going to kill him. I'd move us if I could, but I'm not strong enough to override you. That's something I'm going to work on, though."

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

4:09 AM 6/1/2008

The small head said, "There's one too many heads here alright, and I'd like to get rid of the extra one. But it would be kind of, you know, like cutting off your nose to spite your face, only worse." He looked at Dr. Morgenes' head with narrowed eyes. "So I guess I'll just have to do this the hard way."

The small head seemed to burrow under the skin and work its way toward Morgenes' head, while Morgenes' head looked at it with alarm. The small head finally reached Morgenes' head and somehow disappeared inside it. Morgenes began to thrash and claw at his head with his fingers.

The tiger-doctor and the weasel watched in silence for a while. Finally the tiger said, "All this magic can really be a headache sometimes. We'd better leave them to work this out by themselves."

The tiger spread his new magical wings and flapped them experimentally a few times, then picked up the weasel and flew away.

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

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